WhatsApp joke - A 10 year old girl asks her mother

A 10 year old girl asks her mother, "Mommy, how was I born?"

The mother smiled and replied,"Once upon a time me and your daddy decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom."

A frog and hot water vessel

Put a frog into a vessel fill with water and start heating the water.
As the temperature of the water begins to rise, the frog adjust its body temperature accordingly.
The frog keeps adjusting its body temperature with the increasing temperature of the water. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog cannot adjust anymore. At this point the frog decides to jump out.
The frog tries to jump but it is unable to do so because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature.
Very soon the frog dies.
What killed the frog?
Think about it!
I know many of us will say the boiling water. But the truth about what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when to jump out.
We all need to adjust with people & situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust & when we need to move on. There are times when we need to face the situation and take appropriate actions.
If we allow people to exploit us
physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally they will continue to do so.
Let us decide when to jump!
Let's jump while we still have the strength.

Why women want divorce.

Hello all,
I am really fed up with my married life. I applied divorce already thought he would never come to court for hearing and I would have got divorce easily but my husband came to court unexpectedly. I was really shocked to see this. He says he loves me and does not want to leave me. If he really loves me he should not have come to court which would have favoured me in getting divorce. Why these husbands are like this and not understanding wives.
Coming to the reason why I applied divorce. Ours was love marriage, I was very close to my friends.

They helped me a lot to get my marriage done. They were the ones with me since I started my job here in chennai. But my husband never understands. Before marriage they used to come home stay all but after marriage they come home and be there with us till night 11 only and leave. They are very good people, they feel that we are new to this area and helping being with us all the time. But my husband hates this and feels he wants privacy and asking them to visit once in a week for lunch or so. This irritated me to core. Applied divorce. Hoping to get soon. Please pray for me friends.

All men are perverts


A general question to married men out there, I hav seen my husband posting comments on celeb women body structure like you look so sexy, so curvy in their insta messenger and when I question he says it is not anything to break my head abt.. Is this a normal "man" thing or am I married to a wrong person :(

What modi ji did for us the last 5years

What We Now Know:
---------------------------------
Modi loves mangoes
Modi goes to jungle every year.
Modi used to wash his own clothes
Modi's Yoga Routine
Modi's sleeping habits
Modi's secret of his energy
Modi's food habits
What Modi does with his salary..
Modi follows Twinkle Khanna
Modi's relationship with Obama
Modi's dress designer

What We Don't Know:
-------------------------------
Objectives of Demonetisation
Data on job losses - 45 million or more?
Data on farmers suicides?
How much of the $600 Billion Black money has been brought back?
Why Modi insulted martyr Hemant Karkare and gave ticket to terror accused Pragya Thakur?
Why Modi reduced investments in education & Research?
What is India's real GDP growth?
Who takes the blame for Intelligence failure in Pulwama?
Why is development not an election issue?
What is the secrecy in Pricing of Rafale?
What happened to the 9 lac crores of fuel tax?
Why the secrecy on BJPs election funding?
Why Modi changed his stand on FdI & Aadhaar?
Why is fuel price still high despite fall in international prices?
Why isnt dollar price at 35?
How did Mallya, Nirav Modi, Mehul Choksi etc. escaped India?
Why are more soldiers dying at the border?
How did so many terrorist attacks happen in India?
What is Modi's relationship status with Advani and other founders of BJP?

After so many interviews by journalists and actors, this is what we know. And Don't Know.
What are the questions that bother you?
What is important for you?
Vote Wisely.
Vote for INDIA.

By Peri Maheshwer

You are a wild bird - doctor patient joke

Ultimate Doctor:

Lady to Doctor : When I was unmarried, I had 6 abortions. Now I am married, but can't get pregnant.

Doctor: You are a "Wild Bird" you can't breed in a ZOO.!!
😂😂😂😂

Husband and wife joke

WIFE: Honey let's play a game

HUSBAND: Okay. What's the game about?

WIFE: If I mention a country, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall & if I mention a bird, you run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you'll give me all your salary for this month

HUSBAND: Okay! And if you fail in your turn, I'll have your salary too right?

WIFE: (smiles) Yes darling!

HUSBAND: Okay (stands up ready to run in any direction)
Wife: are you ready

Husband: Yes ready

WIFE:       TURKEY

Its been 4 HOURS NOW...
The husband is still standing at the spot wondering if she meant the Country or the bird 😀😀😝😝👊👊

Moral lesson... After God, Fear Women!😂😂😂

Election 2019

One night a guy goes to get a room in a hotel. "Hello, I want a single room for the night please." "Fine, sir, here's one of our best rooms. Room 13," says the concierge and hands him the key. The guy goes upstairs, takes a shower and gets straight into bed. At about 2 0'clock in the morning, two gorgeous naked women come in and slide under the covers. When he realizes what is going on, he starts screwing both of them. He can't believe what's happening. Next morning, still surprised by last night's events, he goes downstairs to settle the bill. "How was your room sir?" asks the receptionist. "Excellent, I will come back again. What do I owe you?" asks the man.
"Well. actually, sir, we are doing a promotional offer. Not only do you not have to pay but we give you $10 as a welcome gesture," says the receptionist. "What?" says the guy, very surprised indeed. "That's amazing." He takes the ten-dollar bill and wanders off, debating whether his buddies will believe him or not. Needless to say, after a few days he's told all his friends and neighbors about room 13 and the amazing night of passion. The next week one of his buddies goes to check out the room. "Room 13 please." "Certainly, sir, here's your key." After he gets in bed, at the same time, 2 o'clock, three girls this time, extremely horny, get in bed and screw his brains out. The next morning, not only does he not have to pay, but he too gets $10. After a month, everyone knows this hotel and especially room 13. Everyone that stays in room 13 gets the same treatment: a good screw and a ten bucks.
After a few weeks, the story reaches the President. The President decides to check the story out for himself. He visits the hotel and asks for room 13. He gets the keys and goes upstairs. After a couple of drinks he gets in bed waiting patiently for the naked girls to appear. Indeed at about 2 0'clock in the morning two naked ladies come to bed. They are as horny and wild as all the stories the President has heard. The President gets his pecker out and screws the both of them all night long. This is the night of his life. Next morning he goes to reception and when he asks how much the bill is, the receptionist says, "Nothing to pay, sir. Actually, we are doing an introductory offer. Here's $50 as a welcome gesture." Curious, the President asks the receptionist, "Well, that's strange. Everyone else who comes here gets $10. Why do I get $50?" "Well, sir," says the receptionist. "This is the first time we've filmed a porn movie with a President in it!"

Nothing is free in this World...
Don't sell yourself, unknowingly.

*VOTE WISELY* 2019.

list of people In every class

"In every class ! ! V hav
1.One frnd who is always attentive in class having d best notes ! ! ! !
2.One frnd who is physically present mentally absent ! ! ! !
3.One who always asks silly doubts n entertains the entire class ! ! ! !
4.One who always comes late running after the professor entry !!!!
5.One who runs a canteen under her desk and sends chocolates during clss !! ! ! !
6.One who gets called by their nick name tat v forget tere original name ! ! ! !
7.One who keeps humming songs as loud until the faculty hears it n sends them out ! !
8.One who always forgets to put their mobile in silent mode
n visits d Hod !!!!!!
running for their phones !! ! !
9.Tere is one girl in a class who can easily talk to every boy in class and
one boy who can easily interact with every girl in clss
10.One person who never talks with anyone n v will think he or she is dumb
11.One musician who always wandering around the campus with an instrument ! ! !
12.one who always amuses u with their kavithai , short stories etc
13.One frnd who accompanying u were ever u go even to d restroom !!!!!!
14.One frnd who cries tat definite fail after every exam but comes out with 99*/*
15.One frnd who never comes out of class even in break !!!!!
16.One frnd who laughs like a monster tat d whole clss turns around when ever he or she laughs ! ! !
17.One who eats lik a elephant but still bony !!
Another who eats nothing but stilllllll an elephant !!!!!!
18.One who is always found online whenever you loggin ! ! !
19.One always keeps annoying u with someone else ! !
20.One promising Usain bolt who comes running into d labs last minute !!!
21.One who  always forgets to bring record , observation , etc etc
22.One who throws pens on u during clsss n gives an Oscar acting when you turn towards them !!!!
23.One who fights with you for no reason !!!!!
24.One who regularly drops u at home
25.One who always ready to give money at times !!!
26.One who asks d entire clss lik which actor he or she looks alike !!!!!
27.During lecture one turns to u n laughs relating u to d lecture ! ! !
  ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ˜Ž For each point you read above there is a friend that comes on ur mind related to that point....๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ‘ˆ
Dedicating to all batchmates ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

smoking jokes

I was smoking and talking to my classmate online.
She asked me why i was typing so slow,
and i said "Because my other hand isn't free.
"She is not replying anymore.
Lesson learnt- Never smoke while texting... ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚

8 great quotes

Worlds 8  superb  sentences
--------------<>-------------
Shakespeare :๐Ÿ‘Œ
Never  play  with the feelings
of  others  because  you may
win the  game but the  risk is
that  you  will surely  lose
the person  for a  life time.
--------------------------------
Napoleon.๐Ÿ‘Œ
The world  suffers  a  lot. Not
because  of  the  violence  of
bad people, But because   of
the silence of good people!
--------------------------------
Einstein :๐Ÿ‘Œ
I  am  thankful  to  all those
who  said  NO  to  me   It's
because  of  them  I  did  it
myself.
--------------------------------
Abraham Lincoln :๐Ÿ‘Œ
If friendship is your weakest
point  then  you  are  the
strongest  person  in the
world.
--------------------------------
Shakespeare :๐Ÿ‘Œ
Laughing  faces  do  not
mean that  there is  absence
of sorrow!  But it means that
they  have the ability to deal
with it.
----------------------
William  Arthur : ๐Ÿ‘Œ
Opportunities   are  like
sunrises, if  you  wait too
long  you  can miss them.
------------------------------
Hitler : ๐Ÿ‘Œ
When  you  are  in  the light,
Everything follows  you, But
when  you  enter  into   the
dark, Even your own shadow
doesn't  follow  you.
--------------------------------
Shakespeare : ๐Ÿ‘Œ
Coin  always  makes  sound
but  the  currency  notes are
always  silent.  So  when
  your value  increases
keep quiet.
Good night

Manners joke

I lloved it ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜‚
I m sure u will hav a laugh too
A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.
One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
Lesson: Never trust managers... They will take u to any extreme to finish their job.
And there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS ๐Ÿ˜œ
Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚lol๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

what the indian media will never tell R.I.P maggi

๐Ÿ˜กmedia will never inform you??
Nestle company accepts that they add juice extracted from Beef in chocolate Kitkat.
______________________
media never informed you ???
That in a case in Chennai high court Fair & Lovely company accepted that the cream contains the oil from Pig fats !!
______________________
media never informed us that Vicks is banned in how many countries of Europe ! There it has been declared as slow poison ! But in our country we see it's advertising on TV whole day !!
_____________________
media never informed us that Life bouy is neither bath soap nor toilet soap ! But it's
a Cabolic soap used for bathing animals !
Europe uses Life bouy for Dogs ! And in our country millions of humans use it !!
______________________
media never informed us ! ???????????
That Coke, Pepsi is in reality toilet cleaner ! it has been proved that it contains 21 types of different poisons ! And it's sale is banned in the canteen of indian parliament ! But it is sold in whole country !!
____________________
media never informed us ????
That foreign companies selling health tonics like Boost
Complan
Horlics
Maltova
Protin-ex., were tested in Delhi at All India Institute (which houses biggest laboratory in india) and it was found that it is made from the waste left after oil is extracted from Groundnut ! Which is food for animals ! From this waste they make health tonic !!
______________________
media never informed us ??????
When Amitabh Bachhan was operated in hospital for 10 long hours !
Doctor had to cut and remove large intestine !! and doctor had told him that it has rotten due to drinking of soft drinks like Coke, Pepsi ! And then he stopped advertising coke
pepsi !
______________________
Media is faithful to the advertisers.
๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ
 Lots of people enjoy Pizzas today.
Let's have a look over pizza companies
"Pizza Hut
Dominos
KFC
McDonalds
Pizza Corner
Papa John’s Pizza
California Pizza Kitchen
Sal’s Pizza"
These are all american companies,
Note:- to make Pizza tasty...
E-631 flavor Enhancer is added which is made from Pork or Pig meat.
● Attention friends if following codes are mentioned on food packs then you should know what you are unknowingly consuming.
E 322 - Beef
E 422 - Alcohol
E 442 - Alcohol & Chemical
E 471 - Beef & Alcohol
E 476 - Alcohol
E 481 - mixture of Beef and Pork
E 627 - Dangerous Chemical
E 472 - mixture of Beef, meat & Pork
E 631 - Oil extracted from Pig fats.
● Note - you will find these codes mostly in products of foreign companies like :- Chips , Biscuits , Chewing Gums, Toffees, Kurkure and Maggi !
● Don't ignore pay your kind attention atleast for the well being of your kids, if in doubt then search by yourself through your sources if not internet. (Google)
● Look at ingredient on Maggi pack, you will find flavor (E-635 ).
● Also look for following codes on Google :-
E100, E110, E120, E140, E141, E153, E210, E213, E214, E216, E234, E252, E270, E280, E325, E326, E327, E334, E335, E336, E337, E422, E430, E431, E432, E433, E434, E435, E436, E440, E470, E471, E472, E473, E474, E475, E476, E477, E478, E481, E482, E483, E491, E492, E493, E494, E495, E542, E570, E572, E631, E635, E904.
Kindly forward it to your family and friends to spread awareness. Thank you

The Chicken Story with an Absolute professional climax

Chicken Story๐Ÿฃ  ABSOLUTE PROFESSIONAL
(Mind blowing climax):
A farmer  owns 25 young hens ๐Ÿค and one old cock ...
As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock ๐Ÿ“ from the market...
Old cock to Young cock ๐Ÿ“:
Old cock: Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity...
๐Ÿ“Young cock: What do you mean? As far as I know, you are old & should be retired.
Old cock : Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can't I help you with some?
๐Ÿ“Young cock: No!! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old cock: In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition & if I win you shall allow me to have one hen & if I lose you will have
all.
๐Ÿ“Young cock: OKKK..
What kind of competition?
Old cock: 50 meters run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.
๐Ÿ“Young cock: No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.
In the morning the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off
 & when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases ๐Ÿ“ him with all his might.
Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock's back ๐Ÿ“in a matter of seconds.
Suddenly..."BANG"๐Ÿ’ฅ!!!
Before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot  dead by the farmer ...
who cursed,
: "Hell"
This is the 5th GAY cock I've bought this week." ??
Moral: beware of senior experience in corporate politics !!!!!๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

18+ whatsapp joke, hourse and a chicken

Horse & chicken were best friends. One day, horse fell into a hole. Chicken called a farmer who used his Audi Q7 Quattro to pull out the horse, horse became very happy & thought someday he will return the favour.
Then one day the chicken fell into the hole. The horse lowered his dick & pulled the chicken out.. Chicken was damn impressed..
Moral of the story-
If u have a horse's dick, u don't need an Audi to pick up chicks!

Secretary adult joke for whatsapp

Boss hired a sexy secretary; but 10 days later he committed suicide by jumping from his 27th floor office!
Police: Who was there at that time in the room??
Secretary: I was there ""
Police: What happened? Why did he commit suicide???
Secretary: He was a good man. One day he bought me a fur coat for 2,00,000, then he bought me a diamond necklace for Rs.15,00,000, then he bought me a diamond ring for Rs.5,00,000. Today he asked me to spend the night with him. I told him I charge Rs. 500 a night!
Moral: Investments are subject to market risk, check the market rate before investing!!""
๐Ÿ˜‚

what happens when a girl goes out for a date

Girl 1: ☺I went on date yesterday.
Girl 2:๐Ÿ˜ณ which restaurants?
Girl 3: ๐Ÿ˜งwhich theater?
  
Girl 4: ๐Ÿ˜•whch city?
Girl 5: ๐Ÿ˜ณwhat u guys ate?
Girl 6:๐Ÿ˜Ÿ got any Gift ?
Girl 7: ๐Ÿ˜ฏ hw much was the Bill ?
Girl 8: ๐Ÿ˜• he proposed u?
After full inspection
All Girls:๐Ÿ˜ฐ Be careful he might be a bad guy.
Girl1: ๐Ÿ˜•OK.
.
.
.
Same situation
Boy 1: ☺I went on date yesterday.

Boy 2:๐Ÿ˜ƒ potiya?
Boy 3:๐Ÿ˜ƒ potiya?
Boy 4:๐Ÿ˜ƒ potiya?
Boy 5:๐Ÿ˜ƒ potiya?
Boy 6:๐Ÿ˜ƒ potiya?
Boy 7:๐Ÿ˜ƒ potiya?
Boy 8:๐Ÿ˜ƒ potiya?๐Ÿ˜‚
                                 ..
....../ / /'''''\\
      / / / ⌣ ⌣|\
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    _'  `-.   /          / /''''\\
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  /          \         /  /)  _' |\.
 ;            |      _/-')\   - /' \
 |     |      | _.-'      ` -'(  |
 `    `\   •/      _,       )/  \
  `\     \     \   \-'.     .   .  \
  :  \     |   |\   \ |     \   \  \
  `. `\    \ /  \   ;'     •)  •) \
   |    \.  `"-._\  \`.__.'__.'  \
   |      "-.__   \  \     /      \  \
   )         / ,\_./'  \  /         \  \
  .'         | .'   <//::\           \ `,__
 /         #'|    </ ||\             |/--\\\
|        \#.-\      `' \
|         )_.-`\        \
|         |(    `\       |
 \        | |    | \      \
  \       | '    |   \      \
๐Ÿ’ชMen will be men:๐Ÿ’ช

Story behind April Fools Day

April 1 is named FOOL'S DAY, after Steve April. He was born on 1st April 1579. He did 105 businesses in his lifetime. He lost all his father's assets, and so everyone started calling him father of the fools. At 19, he married a 61-year-old woman who divorced him after a year because of his foolishness. He used to read all kinds of fake stories like you are doing now. It's great idea fooling you ...Happy April Fool

IPL 2015 - Updated squads after the auction

IPL 2015 - Updated squads after the auction:
Chennai Super Kings:
MS Dhoni, Ashish Nehra, Baba Aparajith, Brendon McCullum, Dwayne Bravo, Dwayne Smith, Faf du Plessis, Ishwar Pandey, Matt Henry, Mithun Manhas, Mohit Sharma, Pawan Negi, R Ashwin, Ravindra Jadeja, Samuel Badree, Suresh Raina, Ronit More, Michael Hussey, Rahul Sharma, Kyle Abbott, Irfan Pathan, Pratyush Singh, Ankush Bains, Eklavya Dwivedi, Andrew Tye

Delhi Daredevils:
Jean-Paul Duminy, Kedar Jadhav, Manoj Tiwary, Mohammed Shami, Nathan Coulter-Nile, Quinton De Kock, Saurabh Tiwary, Shahbaz Nadeem, Mayank Agarwal, Imran Tahir, Jayant Yadav, Angelo Mathews, Yuvraj Singh, Amit Mishra, Jaydev Unadkat, Gurinder Sandhu, Shreyas Iyer, CM Gautam, Dominic Muthuswamy, Albie Morkel, Travis Head, Marcus Stoinis, Kona Srikar Bharat, KK Jiyaz, Zaheer Khan

Kings XI Punjab:
Axar Patel, Anureet Singh, Beuran Hendricks, David Miller, George Bailey, Glenn Maxwell, Gurkeerat Singh Mann, Karanveer Singh, Manan Vora, Mitchell Johnson, Parvinder Awana, Rishi Dhawan, Sandeep Sharma, Shardul Thakur, Shaun Marsh, Shivam Sharma, Thisara Perera, Virender Sehwag, Wriddhiman Saha, Murali Vijay, Nikhil Naik, Yogesh Golwalkar

Kolkata Knight Riders:
Gautam Gambhir, Andre Russell, Chris Lynn, Kuldeep Yadav, Manish Pandey, Suryakumar Yadav, Morne Morkel, Patrick Cummins, Piyush Chawla, Robin Uthappa, Ryan ten Doeschate, Shakib Al Hasan, Sunil Narine, Umesh Yadav, Veer Pratap Singh, Yusuf Pathan, James Neesham, Brad Hogg, Aditya Garhwal, Sumit Narwal, KC Cariappa, Vaibhav Rawal, Sheldon Jackson

Mumbai Indians:
Rohit Sharma, Aditya Tare, Ambati Rayudu, Corey Anderson, Harbhajan Singh, Jasprit Bumrah, Josh Hazlewood, Keiron Pollard, Lasith Malinga, Marchant de Lange, Pawan Suyal, Shreyas Gopal, Lendl Simmons, Unmukt Chand, R Vinay Kumar, Parthiv Patel, Aaron Finch, Pragyan Ojha, Mitchell McClenaghan, Akshay Wakhare, Aiden Blizzard, Hardik Pandya, Siddhesh Lad, J Suchith, Nitish Rana, Abhimanyu Mithun

Rajasthan Royals:
Shane Watson, Abhishek Nayar, Ajinkya Rahane, Ankit Nagendra Sharma, Ben Cutting, Deepak Hooda, Dhawal Kulkarni, Dishant Yagnik, James Faulkner, Kane Richardson, Karun Nair, Pravin Tambe, Rahul Tewatia, Rajat Bhatia, Sanju Samson, Steven Smith, Stuart Binny, Amal sanad ,Tim Southee, Vikramjeet Malik, Chris Morris, Juan Theron, Barinder Singh Saran, Dinesh Salunkhe, Sagar Trivedi, Pardeep Sahu

Royal Challengers Bangalore:
Virat Kohli, AB de Villers, Chris Gayle, Mitchell Starc, Nic Maddinson, Varun Aaron, Yuzvendra Singh Chahal, Rilee Rossouw, Vijay Zol, Yogesh Takawale, Abu Nechim Ahmed, Harshal Patel, Ashoke Dinda, Sandeep Warrier, Manvinder Bisla, Iqbal Abdullah, Dinesh Karthik, Subramaniam Badrinath, Darren Sammy, Sean Abbott, Adam Milne, David Wiese, Jalaj Saxena, Sarfaraz Naushad Khan, Shishir Bhavane

Sunrisers Hyderabad:
Shikhar Dhawan, Ashish Reddy, Bhuvneshwar Kumar, Chama Milind, Dale Steyn, David Warner, Ishant Sharma, Karn Sharma, KL Rahul, Moises Henriques, Naman Ojha, Parveez Rasool, Ricky Bhui, Kevin Pietersen, Eoin Morgan, Kane Williamson, Ravi Bopara, Laxmi Ratan Shukla, Praveen Kumar, Trent Boult, Hanuma Vihari, Prasanth Padmanabhan, Siddarth Kaul
[16/02 9:28 PM] ‪+91 96003 15608‬: CRICKET (IPL 8) - 2015
Schedule :
๐Ÿ‘‰ 08.04.2015 - KKR vs MI
๐Ÿ‘‰ 09.04.2015 - CSK vs DD
๐Ÿ‘‰ 10.04.2015 - KXIP vs RR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 11.04.2015 - CSK vs SRH
๐Ÿ‘‰ 11.04.2015 - KKR vs RCB
๐Ÿ‘‰ 12.04.2015 - DD vs RR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 12.04.2015 - MI vs KXIP
๐Ÿ‘‰ 13.04.2015 - RCB vs SRH
๐Ÿ‘‰ 14.04.2015 - RR vs MI
๐Ÿ‘‰ 14.04.2015 - KKR vs CSK
๐Ÿ‘‰ 15.04.2015 - KXIP vs DD
๐Ÿ‘‰ 16.04.2015 - SHR vs RR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 17.04.2015 - MI vs CSK
๐Ÿ‘‰ 18.04.2015 - SHR vs DD
๐Ÿ‘‰ 18.04.2015 - KXIP vs KKR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 19.04.2015 - RR vs CSK
๐Ÿ‘‰ 19.04.2015 - RCB vs MI
๐Ÿ‘‰ 20.04.2015 - DD vs KKR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 21.04.2015 - RR vs KXIP
๐Ÿ‘‰ 22.04.2015 - SRH vs KKR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 22.04.2015 - RCB vs CSK
๐Ÿ‘‰ 23.04.2015 - DD vs MI
๐Ÿ‘‰ 24.04.2015 - RR vs RCB
๐Ÿ‘‰ 25.04.2015 - MI vs SRH
๐Ÿ‘‰ 25.04.2015 - CSK vs KXIP
๐Ÿ‘‰ 26.04.2015 - KKR vs RR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 26.04.2015 - DD vs RCB
๐Ÿ‘‰ 27.04.2015 - KXIP vs SRH
๐Ÿ‘‰ 28.04.2015 - KKR vs DD
๐Ÿ‘‰ 29.04.2015 - RCB vs RR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 30.04.2015 - CSK vs KKR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 01.05.2015 - DD vs KXIP
๐Ÿ‘‰ 01.05.2015 - MI vs RR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 02.05.2015 - RCB vs KKR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 02.05.2015 - SRH vs CSK
๐Ÿ‘‰ 03.05.2015 - KXIP vs MI
๐Ÿ‘‰ 03.05.2015 - RR vs DD
๐Ÿ‘‰ 04.05.2015 - CSK vs RCB
๐Ÿ‘‰ 04.05.2015 - KKR vs SRH
๐Ÿ‘‰ 05.05.2015 - MI vs DD
๐Ÿ‘‰ 06.05.2015 - RCB vs KXIP
๐Ÿ‘‰ 07.05.2015 - RR vs SRH
๐Ÿ‘‰ 08.05.2015 - CSK vs MI
๐Ÿ‘‰ 09.05.2015 - KKR vs KXIP
๐Ÿ‘‰ 09.05.2015 - DD vs SRH
๐Ÿ‘‰ 10.05.2015 - MI vs RCB
๐Ÿ‘‰ 10.05.2015 - CSK vs RR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 11.05.2015 - SRH vs KXIP
๐Ÿ‘‰ 12.05.2015 - DD vs SRH
๐Ÿ‘‰ 13.05.2015 - KXIP vs RCB
๐Ÿ‘‰ 14.05.2015 - MI vs KKR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 15.05.2015 - SRH vs RCB
๐Ÿ‘‰ 16.05.2015 - KXIP vs CSK
๐Ÿ‘‰ 16.05.2015 - RR vs KKR
๐Ÿ‘‰ 17.05.2015 - RCB vs DD
๐Ÿ‘‰ 17.05.2015 - SRH vs MI
End of League Phase
๐Ÿ‘‰ 18.05.2015 - REST DAY
PLAY - OFFS
๐Ÿ‘‰ 19.05.2015 - Qualifier 1
๐Ÿ‘‰ 20.05.2015 - Eliminator
๐Ÿ‘‰ 21.05.2015 - REST DAY
๐Ÿ‘‰ 22.05.2015 - Qualifier 2
๐Ÿ‘‰ 23.05.2015 - REST DAY
๐Ÿ‘‰ 24.05.2015 - FINAL๐Ÿ†
FORWARD THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS AND GROUP๐Ÿ“ฉ

India vs Australia worldcup 2015 predictions

World CUP 2015
๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บAUS VS IND๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ
2nd Semi Final 26th March 2015
India will Win the Toss :
Dhoni will elect Bat First.
Dhawan  30
Rohit   15
Kohli   112
Rahane  78
Raina   38*
Dhoni   46*
India 340 / 4 50 Overs
Starc 2 wckts
Australi Batting :
Warner  55
Finch   45
S.Smith 69
M.Clark 45
Watson  19
Maxwell 61*
Haddin  12*
Australi 318 in 48 overs
Australi will need 21 runs in 12 Balls




























Ippove Full Match Paathuta ..Tomorrow Enna Pannuvinga ๐Ÿ˜œ

Market la pudhusa vandhu iruku Forward Pannunga...
#WC2015 #INDvsAUS

If you're feeling sad for AB de Villiers then just remember

If you're feeling sad for AB de Villiers then just remember:
 1. Neither C.Ronaldo nor L.Messi have a World Cup against their names.
 2. Leonardo di Caprio has never won an Oscar.
 3. Stephen Hawking doesn't have a Nobel Prize.
 4. I've never topped university.
 just for fun wink emoticon
World cup fever 2015

TOP 25 MUST VISIT RESTAURANTS IN KERALA AND THE BEST THEY SERVE

TOP 25 MUST VISIT  RESTAURANTS  IN KERALA AND THE BEST THEY SERVE
1. Tenderloin steak @ Cocoa tree, Panampally nagar, Kochi
2. Appam & Meen chuttathu @ Aavi , Panampally nagar,  Kochi
3. Kaati rolls @ Dal Roti , Fort Kochi
4. Dimsums @ Mainland china, Dreams hotel, Kochi
5. Roasted chilli beef @ Chopstix, Palarivattom , Kochi
6.  Banana Walnut cake  @ Kashi Art Cafรฉ, Fortkochi
7. Seafood Platter @ Menorah – Koder House, Fort Kochi
8. Chicken dosa @ Dosas & Pancakes, Kalavathy road, Fortkochi
9.Chicken Biriyani @ (Kayikka’s) Rahmuthala Hotel, Mattancherry
10. Chilli crust pork chops @ Bubble cafe, The Gateway , Kochi
11. Egg ulli Dosa  @ Pai Brothers Fast Food, Ernakulam
12. Live barbecue lobsters @ Vasundhara sarovar, Cherthala
13. Fish roast @ Vinoo’s park, Cherthala
14. Masala chai @ Cafe paradiso, Alleppey
15. Appam & Egg ully roast @ Hotel Brothers, Alleppey
16. Tawa fried jumbo prawns@  Arcadia , Kottayam
17. Masala dosa @ Hotel Bharat , Trichur
18. Fried rice and thai chicken @ Delicia, Malappuram
19. Mutton Biriyani @ Paragon, Calicut
20. Beef steak @ Sahib’s grill Kitchen, Kannur
21. Mutton chaps @ Hotel Bright, Kottiyam, Kollam
22.  Tender chicken & chappathi @ Rahmaniya (kethal) Chala,Trivandrum
23. Grills & steaks @ Cafe del mar, Varkala
24. Grilled sea food @ Hotel searock, Kovalam
25. Fish pollichathu @  Tall trees , Munnar

Short story about Aadhaar card


Aadhaar card :
 A Must Must Read
 A Scene in 2020...
 Operator:
 Hello Pizza Hut!
 Customer: Hello, can you please take my order?
 Operator : Can I have your multi purpose Aadhar card number first, Sir?
 Customer: Yeah!
 Hold on..... My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610
 Operator : OK... you're... Mr SYED and you're calling from 155, 1st Cross. Panduranga Nagar, MG Road, Hyderabad. . Your home number is 26490786, your office 22211379 and your mobile is 9880088786. You are calling from you home number now.
 Customer: (Astonished) How did you get all my phone numbers?
 Operator : We are connected to the system, Sir.
 Customer: I wish to order your cheese Pizza...
 Operator : That's not a good idea Sir.
 Customer: How come?
 Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.
 Customer: What?... What do you recommend then?
 Operator : Try our Low Fat tomato Mee Pizza. You'll like it.
 Customer: How do you know for sure?
 Operator : You borrowed a book titled 'Popular Tomato Dishes' from the National Library last week, sir.
 Customer: OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then.
 Operator : That should be enough for your family of 07. Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450.
 Customer: Can I pay by credit card?
 Operator : I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs. 1,51,758 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.
 Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.
 Operator : You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've exhausted even your overdraft limit.
 Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?
 Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.
 Customer: What?
 Operator : According to the details in the system , you own a motorcycle registration number 7786
 Customer: "????" (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)
 Operator : Is there anything else, sir?
 Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?
 Operator : We normally would sir, but based on your records, you're also diabetic... In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offer for you.
 Customer: teri
 Operator: Better mind your language sir. Remember on 10th July 1986 you were imprisoned for 3 days and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language against a policeman...?
 Customer faints...

What Bangladesh cricket team thinks after winning England

After beating a weak england team..ban fans think ...they can beat INDIA...AUSTRALIA ...NEW ZEALAND and then win the world cup and then become a super power, will also launch their SPACE programme will find WATER and OIL on MOON,MARS , JUPITER and SUN!! Will make contact with the aliens and with them rule over humans and ALL OFTHE GALAXY!!!!!!!! AKHAND CHUTIYAPA

Mad Cow Disease joke on whatsapp

A Sexy Female TV reporter, with Big boobs, Interviews a farmer, seeking the cause of Mad Cow Disease.
Lady: Sir, we are here to get info on what Causes Mad Cow Disease. Do you have any idea?
The farmer said, "Do you know that a Bull Screws a Cow only once a year?"
Lady : (embarrassed) "Well, that's a piece of valuable info,but
what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?"
Farmer: "Well Madam, do you know that we milk the Cow twice a day?"
Lady: (blushes) Sir, this is really great info, but what about the Mad Cow Disease ?
Farmer (staring at her big tits):
"I am getting to the point Maam. If I was playing with your boobs twice a day, and Screwing you only once a year, wouldn't you get MAD ?

boyfriend text to his girlfriend on whatsapp

Boy frnd texts to his Girl frnd on WhatsApp ...
 .
 BF - Hi
 .
 GF - Hello
 .
 BF - Wr ru darling...?
 .
 GF - Iam in my dads BMW car. Iam going to club and from there i will go to shopping mall. I will send back the car and i will call you. Where r u?
 .
 BF - Iam in the town bus sitting behind u. Don't take the ticket, i have already taken for u..!!

18+ whatsapp information

bra size of actress 
34 b megna raj
32c priya mani
36 b pathmapriya
34c bhavana
34b sammantha
34b asin
32b ileana
32c nayans
40c namitha
34c shradha das
36c shriya saran
34b genelia
34d thabu
34b trisha
34b kajal
34b anushka shetty
33c dhevayani
34b shruthi hassan
34c lakshmi menon
36d swetha menon
34c rima kallingal
36c mithra kuriyan
34d meera jasmin
34b andria
34c kajol
KAMASUTRA LESSONS:
1. Kamasutra says : If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
2. Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panties, pussy...No wonder men suffer from high B P!
3. Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're screwed.
4. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got screwed to achieve it.
5. What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
6. 3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
7. Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
8. Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!
Now that I've educated. you, go ahead and educate someone else.
When a lady is pregnant,
all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!".
But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!".
Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only result matters..

Prize winning message of the year-๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‰.
: 7signs tat confirm a GIRL's VIRGINITY:
1.Wen a grl gets fuckd 4 d 1st time, she'l cry due 2 pain.
2.Wen u insert continusly for 3-4 times,she shud pull it out & take long breath.
3.For the 1st time,evry"GOOD"grl wil hesitate to show her body in light.
4.D nxt day she'l show infinite luv on U.
5.Wen U cme closer without touching,her pulse & breathing rate shud increase.
6.At 1st sex,she shud catch d pillow or ur head for grip,not her"BOOBS".
7.Wenevr U open her legs wide,she shud bring back her two legs closer.
If u dnt find d above 7signs then she is 100% not pure.
Create Awareness..!
Ushara irukanum...!๐Ÿ˜Ž
๐Ÿ’ญ HILARIOUS TRUTH :
Every Man is Millionaire atleast by his sperm count...
And the Funniest thing is that even these million are also spent on Women...!! ๐Ÿ’„๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜†
๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€....................................................๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘1 sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it,
which means a normal fuck represents a data transfer of 1587 GB in about 3 seconds...
And we think 3G is fast !
The 1st Penis guard in Cricket was used in 1894 & the 1st Helmet was used in 1934.
MORAL: It took 40 yrs for men to realize that Brain is also an important part. But priority was always clear..... ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜†
A true friend don't send hugs or kisses but sends.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
....
.
.
...
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.....
......
..
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..
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๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
Best 50 porn sites ever!!!
www.4tube.com
www.8teenxxx.com
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Benefits of Masturbation✊
1. Choice of ๐Ÿ‘ฉgirl is yours..
2. Time ๐Ÿ•œ doesn't matter
3. ๐ŸšถSelf service
4. Not a crime๐Ÿ‘ฎ
5. Rest to girlfriend ๐Ÿ’
6. No risk of AIDS๐Ÿ’€
7. No special ๐Ÿ place required
8. No money ๐Ÿ’ฐwastage
9. Easy to ๐Ÿ‘ปperform
10. Guaranteed satisfaction๐Ÿ’
11. No abortion ✂
12. Condom not required๐ŸŽˆ
13. Not ✋necessary to remove whole underwear
14. Stress ๐Ÿ˜†easily removed
15. Doesn't matter how long your penis is ๐ŸŒ
16. Don't need to care about the adours
17. Pleasure is essential for you......๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
18. One can do as many time as he wants ๐Ÿ”ข
19. No need of special training, ๐Ÿ™Œits so simple
20. Position ๐Ÿšผis of your choice.
<Moral>
Do it yourself and don't expect others.
๐Ÿ˜š
 |
 |\
 |  \
  8=๐Ÿ‘Š===D๐Ÿ’ฆ
 |  \                       ๐Ÿ’ฆ
 |    \_                 ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ
๐Ÿ‘Ÿ  ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ
Happy masturbate day
Imp msg..Send this to all whom you care..'A boy who lived in brazil died after Masturbating 42 times in a day'... So guys..41 is the limit ...;-)๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
Whatsapp creativity. ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ
             ๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€
       ๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€๐ŸŽ€ ๐ŸŽ€ ๐ŸŽ€
            |  ๐ŸŒ€    ๐ŸŒ€  |๐Ÿ‘‚
            |       ๐Ÿ‘ƒ       |
            \      ๐Ÿ‘„       /  \   \
               \_______/     \    \
       _______|    |______\    \
     /                             ____)
    /     /|                      |
  /     / (  ๐ŸŠ  )    (  ๐ŸŠ )   
  \    \    \                    /
    \   \    |                 |
      \   \ /                   \
          /                       \
         /              p         \
        |                           |
         \           ๐Ÿ‘…          |
           \          \/           /
             \          \        /
               \          \    /
                \          \ / 
                  \          )
                /          /
               |         /
               |       /
                \      /
. ๐Ÿ”ž Height  of whatsapp usage!!
A child asked his dad- Dad how was i born???
Dad replied
  ๐Ÿ‘ฆ   ๐Ÿ‘ฉ   ๐Ÿ’‘   ๐Ÿ’   ๐Ÿ’‹   ๐Ÿ‘„   ๐Ÿ‘— ๐Ÿ‘™   ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ‘Œ  = ๐Ÿ‘ถ  .. ๐Ÿ‘ช

Dilberts hilarious thoughts A good 30 laughs at Dilbert's one liners:


1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork..
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

why i got divorced..sad story

๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„Why I got divorced.......... Sad story of a Man
Last wรฉek was my birthday....  My wife didnt wish me.... My parents forgot and so did my kids.... I went to work.... Even my colleagues didnt wish me.... As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special.... She asked me out to lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment... WE went there.... She said,"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?" "OKAY",i said... She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids ,My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming, SURPRISE.... And I was waiting on the sofa............. ๐Ÿ˜ NAKED ๐Ÿ˜ฉ.......... Sad story of a Man
Last wรฉek was my birthday....  My wife didnt wish me.... My parents forgot and so did my kids.... I went to work.... Even my colleagues didnt wish me.... As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special.... She asked me out to lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment... WE went there.... She said,"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?" "OKAY",i said... She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids ,My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming, SURPRISE.... And I was waiting on the sofa............. ๐Ÿ˜ NAKED ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Whatsapp forward Messages

Letzz have fun. FWD ALL N GET UR TITLES ๐Ÿ˜
1. ๐Ÿ‘ŠSanda Kozhi
2. ๐Ÿ˜ My love
3. ๐Ÿ’ƒ best dancer
4. ๐Ÿ˜š My life
5. ๐Ÿ˜ญ Always crying
6. ☺ Mr/ Ms. Innocent
7. ๐Ÿ‘ถ Babyness
9. ๐Ÿ˜ก Selfish
10.๐Ÿšถ๐ŸƒPorukki/Rowdy
11. ๐Ÿ™Ž Soft
12. ๐Ÿ˜ Mr./ Ms . Attitude
13. ๐Ÿ‘€ Talking with eyes
14. ๐Ÿ‘ŒSuper
15. ๐Ÿ‘” Model
16. ❤ Alive heart
17. ๐Ÿ‘ฆ Best Person ever
18. ๐Ÿ† Bharat Ratna
19. ๐Ÿ’ช Beast
20. ๐Ÿ‘บ Most Annoying
21. ๐ŸŽฑ Player
22. ๐ŸŒท Most Caring
23. ๐Ÿ… The King
24. ๐Ÿ‘ผ Free Minded
25. ๐ŸŸ Theeni pandaram
26.๐Ÿƒ joker
27. ๐Ÿ“ท Photogenic
28. ๐Ÿ‘ฎ different from all
29. ๐Ÿ’ Most Emotional
30. ๐Ÿฃ new born baby
31. ๐Ÿ‘ฌ Best Friend, no 1 else
32.๐Ÿ˜˜ Romantic
33. ๐Ÿ˜œ most comedian
34. ๐ŸŽถ Good singer
35. ๐Ÿ‘ซ Good frnd
36.๐Ÿฐ play boy
And which titles will u give me.....?????????
3c32876ace65c4774e1ba936bd9f8cb6cd2dc52bdce013e4a4