list of people In every class

"In every class ! ! V hav
1.One frnd who is always attentive in class having d best notes ! ! ! !
2.One frnd who is physically present mentally absent ! ! ! !
3.One who always asks silly doubts n entertains the entire class ! ! ! !
4.One who always comes late running after the professor entry !!!!
5.One who runs a canteen under her desk and sends chocolates during clss !! ! ! !
6.One who gets called by their nick name tat v forget tere original name ! ! ! !
7.One who keeps humming songs as loud until the faculty hears it n sends them out ! !
8.One who always forgets to put their mobile in silent mode
n visits d Hod !!!!!!
running for their phones !! ! !
9.Tere is one girl in a class who can easily talk to every boy in class and
one boy who can easily interact with every girl in clss
10.One person who never talks with anyone n v will think he or she is dumb
11.One musician who always wandering around the campus with an instrument ! ! !
12.one who always amuses u with their kavithai , short stories etc
13.One frnd who accompanying u were ever u go even to d restroom !!!!!!
14.One frnd who cries tat definite fail after every exam but comes out with 99*/*
15.One frnd who never comes out of class even in break !!!!!
16.One frnd who laughs like a monster tat d whole clss turns around when ever he or she laughs ! ! !
17.One who eats lik a elephant but still bony !!
Another who eats nothing but stilllllll an elephant !!!!!!
18.One who is always found online whenever you loggin ! ! !
19.One always keeps annoying u with someone else ! !
20.One promising Usain bolt who comes running into d labs last minute !!!
21.One who  always forgets to bring record , observation , etc etc
22.One who throws pens on u during clsss n gives an Oscar acting when you turn towards them !!!!
23.One who fights with you for no reason !!!!!
24.One who regularly drops u at home
25.One who always ready to give money at times !!!
26.One who asks d entire clss lik which actor he or she looks alike !!!!!
27.During lecture one turns to u n laughs relating u to d lecture ! ! !
  👉😎 For each point you read above there is a friend that comes on ur mind related to that point....😊👈
Dedicating to all batchmates 😂😂 😝😝😝😝

smoking jokes

I was smoking and talking to my classmate online.
She asked me why i was typing so slow,
and i said "Because my other hand isn't free.
"She is not replying anymore.
Lesson learnt- Never smoke while texting... 😁😜😂

8 great quotes

Worlds 8  superb  sentences
--------------<>-------------
Shakespeare :👌
Never  play  with the feelings
of  others  because  you may
win the  game but the  risk is
that  you  will surely  lose
the person  for a  life time.
--------------------------------
Napoleon.👌
The world  suffers  a  lot. Not
because  of  the  violence  of
bad people, But because   of
the silence of good people!
--------------------------------
Einstein :👌
I  am  thankful  to  all those
who  said  NO  to  me   It's
because  of  them  I  did  it
myself.
--------------------------------
Abraham Lincoln :👌
If friendship is your weakest
point  then  you  are  the
strongest  person  in the
world.
--------------------------------
Shakespeare :👌
Laughing  faces  do  not
mean that  there is  absence
of sorrow!  But it means that
they  have the ability to deal
with it.
----------------------
William  Arthur : 👌
Opportunities   are  like
sunrises, if  you  wait too
long  you  can miss them.
------------------------------
Hitler : 👌
When  you  are  in  the light,
Everything follows  you, But
when  you  enter  into   the
dark, Even your own shadow
doesn't  follow  you.
--------------------------------
Shakespeare : 👌
Coin  always  makes  sound
but  the  currency  notes are
always  silent.  So  when
  your value  increases
keep quiet.
Good night

Manners joke

I lloved it 😃😂
I m sure u will hav a laugh too
A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.
One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
Lesson: Never trust managers... They will take u to any extreme to finish their job.
And there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS 😜
Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers 😂😂lol😜😡😡

what the indian media will never tell R.I.P maggi

😡media will never inform you??
Nestle company accepts that they add juice extracted from Beef in chocolate Kitkat.
______________________
media never informed you ???
That in a case in Chennai high court Fair & Lovely company accepted that the cream contains the oil from Pig fats !!
______________________
media never informed us that Vicks is banned in how many countries of Europe ! There it has been declared as slow poison ! But in our country we see it's advertising on TV whole day !!
_____________________
media never informed us that Life bouy is neither bath soap nor toilet soap ! But it's
a Cabolic soap used for bathing animals !
Europe uses Life bouy for Dogs ! And in our country millions of humans use it !!
______________________
media never informed us ! ???????????
That Coke, Pepsi is in reality toilet cleaner ! it has been proved that it contains 21 types of different poisons ! And it's sale is banned in the canteen of indian parliament ! But it is sold in whole country !!
____________________
media never informed us ????
That foreign companies selling health tonics like Boost
Complan
Horlics
Maltova
Protin-ex., were tested in Delhi at All India Institute (which houses biggest laboratory in india) and it was found that it is made from the waste left after oil is extracted from Groundnut ! Which is food for animals ! From this waste they make health tonic !!
______________________
media never informed us ??????
When Amitabh Bachhan was operated in hospital for 10 long hours !
Doctor had to cut and remove large intestine !! and doctor had told him that it has rotten due to drinking of soft drinks like Coke, Pepsi ! And then he stopped advertising coke
pepsi !
______________________
Media is faithful to the advertisers.
🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨
 Lots of people enjoy Pizzas today.
Let's have a look over pizza companies
"Pizza Hut
Dominos
KFC
McDonalds
Pizza Corner
Papa John’s Pizza
California Pizza Kitchen
Sal’s Pizza"
These are all american companies,
Note:- to make Pizza tasty...
E-631 flavor Enhancer is added which is made from Pork or Pig meat.
● Attention friends if following codes are mentioned on food packs then you should know what you are unknowingly consuming.
E 322 - Beef
E 422 - Alcohol
E 442 - Alcohol & Chemical
E 471 - Beef & Alcohol
E 476 - Alcohol
E 481 - mixture of Beef and Pork
E 627 - Dangerous Chemical
E 472 - mixture of Beef, meat & Pork
E 631 - Oil extracted from Pig fats.
● Note - you will find these codes mostly in products of foreign companies like :- Chips , Biscuits , Chewing Gums, Toffees, Kurkure and Maggi !
● Don't ignore pay your kind attention atleast for the well being of your kids, if in doubt then search by yourself through your sources if not internet. (Google)
● Look at ingredient on Maggi pack, you will find flavor (E-635 ).
● Also look for following codes on Google :-
E100, E110, E120, E140, E141, E153, E210, E213, E214, E216, E234, E252, E270, E280, E325, E326, E327, E334, E335, E336, E337, E422, E430, E431, E432, E433, E434, E435, E436, E440, E470, E471, E472, E473, E474, E475, E476, E477, E478, E481, E482, E483, E491, E492, E493, E494, E495, E542, E570, E572, E631, E635, E904.
Kindly forward it to your family and friends to spread awareness. Thank you

The Chicken Story with an Absolute professional climax

Chicken Story🐣  ABSOLUTE PROFESSIONAL
(Mind blowing climax):
A farmer  owns 25 young hens 🐤 and one old cock ...
As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock 🐓 from the market...
Old cock to Young cock 🐓:
Old cock: Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity...
🐓Young cock: What do you mean? As far as I know, you are old & should be retired.
Old cock : Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can't I help you with some?
🐓Young cock: No!! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old cock: In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition & if I win you shall allow me to have one hen & if I lose you will have
all.
🐓Young cock: OKKK..
What kind of competition?
Old cock: 50 meters run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.
🐓Young cock: No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.
In the morning the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off
 & when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases 🐓 him with all his might.
Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock's back 🐓in a matter of seconds.
Suddenly..."BANG"💥!!!
Before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot  dead by the farmer ...
who cursed,
: "Hell"
This is the 5th GAY cock I've bought this week." ??
Moral: beware of senior experience in corporate politics !!!!!😆😆

18+ whatsapp joke, hourse and a chicken

Horse & chicken were best friends. One day, horse fell into a hole. Chicken called a farmer who used his Audi Q7 Quattro to pull out the horse, horse became very happy & thought someday he will return the favour.
Then one day the chicken fell into the hole. The horse lowered his dick & pulled the chicken out.. Chicken was damn impressed..
Moral of the story-
If u have a horse's dick, u don't need an Audi to pick up chicks!

Secretary adult joke for whatsapp

Boss hired a sexy secretary; but 10 days later he committed suicide by jumping from his 27th floor office!
Police: Who was there at that time in the room??
Secretary: I was there ""
Police: What happened? Why did he commit suicide???
Secretary: He was a good man. One day he bought me a fur coat for 2,00,000, then he bought me a diamond necklace for Rs.15,00,000, then he bought me a diamond ring for Rs.5,00,000. Today he asked me to spend the night with him. I told him I charge Rs. 500 a night!
Moral: Investments are subject to market risk, check the market rate before investing!!""
😂

what happens when a girl goes out for a date

Girl 1: ☺I went on date yesterday.
Girl 2:😳 which restaurants?
Girl 3: 😧which theater?
  
Girl 4: 😕whch city?
Girl 5: 😳what u guys ate?
Girl 6:😟 got any Gift ?
Girl 7: 😯 hw much was the Bill ?
Girl 8: 😕 he proposed u?
After full inspection
All Girls:😰 Be careful he might be a bad guy.
Girl1: 😕OK.
.
.
.
Same situation
Boy 1: ☺I went on date yesterday.

Boy 2:😃 potiya?
Boy 3:😃 potiya?
Boy 4:😃 potiya?
Boy 5:😃 potiya?
Boy 6:😃 potiya?
Boy 7:😃 potiya?
Boy 8:😃 potiya?😂
                                 ..
....../ / /'''''\\
      / / / ⌣ ⌣|\
      \_/    .. / 
    _'  `-.   /          / /''''\\
   /       \|           / / _  _|\
  /          \         /  /)  _' |\.
 ;            |      _/-')\   - /' \
 |     |      | _.-'      ` -'(  |
 `    `\   •/      _,       )/  \
  `\     \     \   \-'.     .   .  \
  :  \     |   |\   \ |     \   \  \
  `. `\    \ /  \   ;'     •)  •) \
   |    \.  `"-._\  \`.__.'__.'  \
   |      "-.__   \  \     /      \  \
   )         / ,\_./'  \  /         \  \
  .'         | .'   <//::\           \ `,__
 /         #'|    </ ||\             |/--\\\
|        \#.-\      `' \
|         )_.-`\        \
|         |(    `\       |
 \        | |    | \      \
  \       | '    |   \      \
💪Men will be men:💪

Story behind April Fools Day

April 1 is named FOOL'S DAY, after Steve April. He was born on 1st April 1579. He did 105 businesses in his lifetime. He lost all his father's assets, and so everyone started calling him father of the fools. At 19, he married a 61-year-old woman who divorced him after a year because of his foolishness. He used to read all kinds of fake stories like you are doing now. It's great idea fooling you ...Happy April Fool

IPL 2015 - Updated squads after the auction

IPL 2015 - Updated squads after the auction:
Chennai Super Kings:
MS Dhoni, Ashish Nehra, Baba Aparajith, Brendon McCullum, Dwayne Bravo, Dwayne Smith, Faf du Plessis, Ishwar Pandey, Matt Henry, Mithun Manhas, Mohit Sharma, Pawan Negi, R Ashwin, Ravindra Jadeja, Samuel Badree, Suresh Raina, Ronit More, Michael Hussey, Rahul Sharma, Kyle Abbott, Irfan Pathan, Pratyush Singh, Ankush Bains, Eklavya Dwivedi, Andrew Tye

Delhi Daredevils:
Jean-Paul Duminy, Kedar Jadhav, Manoj Tiwary, Mohammed Shami, Nathan Coulter-Nile, Quinton De Kock, Saurabh Tiwary, Shahbaz Nadeem, Mayank Agarwal, Imran Tahir, Jayant Yadav, Angelo Mathews, Yuvraj Singh, Amit Mishra, Jaydev Unadkat, Gurinder Sandhu, Shreyas Iyer, CM Gautam, Dominic Muthuswamy, Albie Morkel, Travis Head, Marcus Stoinis, Kona Srikar Bharat, KK Jiyaz, Zaheer Khan

Kings XI Punjab:
Axar Patel, Anureet Singh, Beuran Hendricks, David Miller, George Bailey, Glenn Maxwell, Gurkeerat Singh Mann, Karanveer Singh, Manan Vora, Mitchell Johnson, Parvinder Awana, Rishi Dhawan, Sandeep Sharma, Shardul Thakur, Shaun Marsh, Shivam Sharma, Thisara Perera, Virender Sehwag, Wriddhiman Saha, Murali Vijay, Nikhil Naik, Yogesh Golwalkar

Kolkata Knight Riders:
Gautam Gambhir, Andre Russell, Chris Lynn, Kuldeep Yadav, Manish Pandey, Suryakumar Yadav, Morne Morkel, Patrick Cummins, Piyush Chawla, Robin Uthappa, Ryan ten Doeschate, Shakib Al Hasan, Sunil Narine, Umesh Yadav, Veer Pratap Singh, Yusuf Pathan, James Neesham, Brad Hogg, Aditya Garhwal, Sumit Narwal, KC Cariappa, Vaibhav Rawal, Sheldon Jackson

Mumbai Indians:
Rohit Sharma, Aditya Tare, Ambati Rayudu, Corey Anderson, Harbhajan Singh, Jasprit Bumrah, Josh Hazlewood, Keiron Pollard, Lasith Malinga, Marchant de Lange, Pawan Suyal, Shreyas Gopal, Lendl Simmons, Unmukt Chand, R Vinay Kumar, Parthiv Patel, Aaron Finch, Pragyan Ojha, Mitchell McClenaghan, Akshay Wakhare, Aiden Blizzard, Hardik Pandya, Siddhesh Lad, J Suchith, Nitish Rana, Abhimanyu Mithun

Rajasthan Royals:
Shane Watson, Abhishek Nayar, Ajinkya Rahane, Ankit Nagendra Sharma, Ben Cutting, Deepak Hooda, Dhawal Kulkarni, Dishant Yagnik, James Faulkner, Kane Richardson, Karun Nair, Pravin Tambe, Rahul Tewatia, Rajat Bhatia, Sanju Samson, Steven Smith, Stuart Binny, Amal sanad ,Tim Southee, Vikramjeet Malik, Chris Morris, Juan Theron, Barinder Singh Saran, Dinesh Salunkhe, Sagar Trivedi, Pardeep Sahu

Royal Challengers Bangalore:
Virat Kohli, AB de Villers, Chris Gayle, Mitchell Starc, Nic Maddinson, Varun Aaron, Yuzvendra Singh Chahal, Rilee Rossouw, Vijay Zol, Yogesh Takawale, Abu Nechim Ahmed, Harshal Patel, Ashoke Dinda, Sandeep Warrier, Manvinder Bisla, Iqbal Abdullah, Dinesh Karthik, Subramaniam Badrinath, Darren Sammy, Sean Abbott, Adam Milne, David Wiese, Jalaj Saxena, Sarfaraz Naushad Khan, Shishir Bhavane

Sunrisers Hyderabad:
Shikhar Dhawan, Ashish Reddy, Bhuvneshwar Kumar, Chama Milind, Dale Steyn, David Warner, Ishant Sharma, Karn Sharma, KL Rahul, Moises Henriques, Naman Ojha, Parveez Rasool, Ricky Bhui, Kevin Pietersen, Eoin Morgan, Kane Williamson, Ravi Bopara, Laxmi Ratan Shukla, Praveen Kumar, Trent Boult, Hanuma Vihari, Prasanth Padmanabhan, Siddarth Kaul
[16/02 9:28 PM] ‪+91 96003 15608‬: CRICKET (IPL 8) - 2015
Schedule :
👉 08.04.2015 - KKR vs MI
👉 09.04.2015 - CSK vs DD
👉 10.04.2015 - KXIP vs RR
👉 11.04.2015 - CSK vs SRH
👉 11.04.2015 - KKR vs RCB
👉 12.04.2015 - DD vs RR
👉 12.04.2015 - MI vs KXIP
👉 13.04.2015 - RCB vs SRH
👉 14.04.2015 - RR vs MI
👉 14.04.2015 - KKR vs CSK
👉 15.04.2015 - KXIP vs DD
👉 16.04.2015 - SHR vs RR
👉 17.04.2015 - MI vs CSK
👉 18.04.2015 - SHR vs DD
👉 18.04.2015 - KXIP vs KKR
👉 19.04.2015 - RR vs CSK
👉 19.04.2015 - RCB vs MI
👉 20.04.2015 - DD vs KKR
👉 21.04.2015 - RR vs KXIP
👉 22.04.2015 - SRH vs KKR
👉 22.04.2015 - RCB vs CSK
👉 23.04.2015 - DD vs MI
👉 24.04.2015 - RR vs RCB
👉 25.04.2015 - MI vs SRH
👉 25.04.2015 - CSK vs KXIP
👉 26.04.2015 - KKR vs RR
👉 26.04.2015 - DD vs RCB
👉 27.04.2015 - KXIP vs SRH
👉 28.04.2015 - KKR vs DD
👉 29.04.2015 - RCB vs RR
👉 30.04.2015 - CSK vs KKR
👉 01.05.2015 - DD vs KXIP
👉 01.05.2015 - MI vs RR
👉 02.05.2015 - RCB vs KKR
👉 02.05.2015 - SRH vs CSK
👉 03.05.2015 - KXIP vs MI
👉 03.05.2015 - RR vs DD
👉 04.05.2015 - CSK vs RCB
👉 04.05.2015 - KKR vs SRH
👉 05.05.2015 - MI vs DD
👉 06.05.2015 - RCB vs KXIP
👉 07.05.2015 - RR vs SRH
👉 08.05.2015 - CSK vs MI
👉 09.05.2015 - KKR vs KXIP
👉 09.05.2015 - DD vs SRH
👉 10.05.2015 - MI vs RCB
👉 10.05.2015 - CSK vs RR
👉 11.05.2015 - SRH vs KXIP
👉 12.05.2015 - DD vs SRH
👉 13.05.2015 - KXIP vs RCB
👉 14.05.2015 - MI vs KKR
👉 15.05.2015 - SRH vs RCB
👉 16.05.2015 - KXIP vs CSK
👉 16.05.2015 - RR vs KKR
👉 17.05.2015 - RCB vs DD
👉 17.05.2015 - SRH vs MI
End of League Phase
👉 18.05.2015 - REST DAY
PLAY - OFFS
👉 19.05.2015 - Qualifier 1
👉 20.05.2015 - Eliminator
👉 21.05.2015 - REST DAY
👉 22.05.2015 - Qualifier 2
👉 23.05.2015 - REST DAY
👉 24.05.2015 - FINAL🏆
FORWARD THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS AND GROUP📩

India vs Australia worldcup 2015 predictions

World CUP 2015
🇦🇺AUS VS IND🇮🇳
2nd Semi Final 26th March 2015
India will Win the Toss :
Dhoni will elect Bat First.
Dhawan  30
Rohit   15
Kohli   112
Rahane  78
Raina   38*
Dhoni   46*
India 340 / 4 50 Overs
Starc 2 wckts
Australi Batting :
Warner  55
Finch   45
S.Smith 69
M.Clark 45
Watson  19
Maxwell 61*
Haddin  12*
Australi 318 in 48 overs
Australi will need 21 runs in 12 Balls




























Ippove Full Match Paathuta ..Tomorrow Enna Pannuvinga 😜

Market la pudhusa vandhu iruku Forward Pannunga...
#WC2015 #INDvsAUS

If you're feeling sad for AB de Villiers then just remember

If you're feeling sad for AB de Villiers then just remember:
 1. Neither C.Ronaldo nor L.Messi have a World Cup against their names.
 2. Leonardo di Caprio has never won an Oscar.
 3. Stephen Hawking doesn't have a Nobel Prize.
 4. I've never topped university.
 just for fun wink emoticon
World cup fever 2015

TOP 25 MUST VISIT RESTAURANTS IN KERALA AND THE BEST THEY SERVE

TOP 25 MUST VISIT  RESTAURANTS  IN KERALA AND THE BEST THEY SERVE
1. Tenderloin steak @ Cocoa tree, Panampally nagar, Kochi
2. Appam & Meen chuttathu @ Aavi , Panampally nagar,  Kochi
3. Kaati rolls @ Dal Roti , Fort Kochi
4. Dimsums @ Mainland china, Dreams hotel, Kochi
5. Roasted chilli beef @ Chopstix, Palarivattom , Kochi
6.  Banana Walnut cake  @ Kashi Art Café, Fortkochi
7. Seafood Platter @ Menorah – Koder House, Fort Kochi
8. Chicken dosa @ Dosas & Pancakes, Kalavathy road, Fortkochi
9.Chicken Biriyani @ (Kayikka’s) Rahmuthala Hotel, Mattancherry
10. Chilli crust pork chops @ Bubble cafe, The Gateway , Kochi
11. Egg ulli Dosa  @ Pai Brothers Fast Food, Ernakulam
12. Live barbecue lobsters @ Vasundhara sarovar, Cherthala
13. Fish roast @ Vinoo’s park, Cherthala
14. Masala chai @ Cafe paradiso, Alleppey
15. Appam & Egg ully roast @ Hotel Brothers, Alleppey
16. Tawa fried jumbo prawns@  Arcadia , Kottayam
17. Masala dosa @ Hotel Bharat , Trichur
18. Fried rice and thai chicken @ Delicia, Malappuram
19. Mutton Biriyani @ Paragon, Calicut
20. Beef steak @ Sahib’s grill Kitchen, Kannur
21. Mutton chaps @ Hotel Bright, Kottiyam, Kollam
22.  Tender chicken & chappathi @ Rahmaniya (kethal) Chala,Trivandrum
23. Grills & steaks @ Cafe del mar, Varkala
24. Grilled sea food @ Hotel searock, Kovalam
25. Fish pollichathu @  Tall trees , Munnar

Short story about Aadhaar card


Aadhaar card :
 A Must Must Read
 A Scene in 2020...
 Operator:
 Hello Pizza Hut!
 Customer: Hello, can you please take my order?
 Operator : Can I have your multi purpose Aadhar card number first, Sir?
 Customer: Yeah!
 Hold on..... My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610
 Operator : OK... you're... Mr SYED and you're calling from 155, 1st Cross. Panduranga Nagar, MG Road, Hyderabad. . Your home number is 26490786, your office 22211379 and your mobile is 9880088786. You are calling from you home number now.
 Customer: (Astonished) How did you get all my phone numbers?
 Operator : We are connected to the system, Sir.
 Customer: I wish to order your cheese Pizza...
 Operator : That's not a good idea Sir.
 Customer: How come?
 Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.
 Customer: What?... What do you recommend then?
 Operator : Try our Low Fat tomato Mee Pizza. You'll like it.
 Customer: How do you know for sure?
 Operator : You borrowed a book titled 'Popular Tomato Dishes' from the National Library last week, sir.
 Customer: OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then.
 Operator : That should be enough for your family of 07. Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450.
 Customer: Can I pay by credit card?
 Operator : I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs. 1,51,758 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.
 Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.
 Operator : You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've exhausted even your overdraft limit.
 Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?
 Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.
 Customer: What?
 Operator : According to the details in the system , you own a motorcycle registration number 7786
 Customer: "????" (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)
 Operator : Is there anything else, sir?
 Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?
 Operator : We normally would sir, but based on your records, you're also diabetic... In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offer for you.
 Customer: teri
 Operator: Better mind your language sir. Remember on 10th July 1986 you were imprisoned for 3 days and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language against a policeman...?
 Customer faints...

What Bangladesh cricket team thinks after winning England

After beating a weak england team..ban fans think ...they can beat INDIA...AUSTRALIA ...NEW ZEALAND and then win the world cup and then become a super power, will also launch their SPACE programme will find WATER and OIL on MOON,MARS , JUPITER and SUN!! Will make contact with the aliens and with them rule over humans and ALL OFTHE GALAXY!!!!!!!! AKHAND CHUTIYAPA

Mad Cow Disease joke on whatsapp

A Sexy Female TV reporter, with Big boobs, Interviews a farmer, seeking the cause of Mad Cow Disease.
Lady: Sir, we are here to get info on what Causes Mad Cow Disease. Do you have any idea?
The farmer said, "Do you know that a Bull Screws a Cow only once a year?"
Lady : (embarrassed) "Well, that's a piece of valuable info,but
what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?"
Farmer: "Well Madam, do you know that we milk the Cow twice a day?"
Lady: (blushes) Sir, this is really great info, but what about the Mad Cow Disease ?
Farmer (staring at her big tits):
"I am getting to the point Maam. If I was playing with your boobs twice a day, and Screwing you only once a year, wouldn't you get MAD ?

boyfriend text to his girlfriend on whatsapp

Boy frnd texts to his Girl frnd on WhatsApp ...
 .
 BF - Hi
 .
 GF - Hello
 .
 BF - Wr ru darling...?
 .
 GF - Iam in my dads BMW car. Iam going to club and from there i will go to shopping mall. I will send back the car and i will call you. Where r u?
 .
 BF - Iam in the town bus sitting behind u. Don't take the ticket, i have already taken for u..!!

18+ whatsapp information

bra size of actress 
34 b megna raj
32c priya mani
36 b pathmapriya
34c bhavana
34b sammantha
34b asin
32b ileana
32c nayans
40c namitha
34c shradha das
36c shriya saran
34b genelia
34d thabu
34b trisha
34b kajal
34b anushka shetty
33c dhevayani
34b shruthi hassan
34c lakshmi menon
36d swetha menon
34c rima kallingal
36c mithra kuriyan
34d meera jasmin
34b andria
34c kajol
KAMASUTRA LESSONS:
1. Kamasutra says : If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
2. Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panties, pussy...No wonder men suffer from high B P!
3. Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're screwed.
4. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got screwed to achieve it.
5. What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
6. 3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
7. Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
8. Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!
Now that I've educated. you, go ahead and educate someone else.
When a lady is pregnant,
all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!".
But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!".
Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only result matters..

Prize winning message of the year-😄😜😉.
: 7signs tat confirm a GIRL's VIRGINITY:
1.Wen a grl gets fuckd 4 d 1st time, she'l cry due 2 pain.
2.Wen u insert continusly for 3-4 times,she shud pull it out & take long breath.
3.For the 1st time,evry"GOOD"grl wil hesitate to show her body in light.
4.D nxt day she'l show infinite luv on U.
5.Wen U cme closer without touching,her pulse & breathing rate shud increase.
6.At 1st sex,she shud catch d pillow or ur head for grip,not her"BOOBS".
7.Wenevr U open her legs wide,she shud bring back her two legs closer.
If u dnt find d above 7signs then she is 100% not pure.
Create Awareness..!
Ushara irukanum...!😎
💭 HILARIOUS TRUTH :
Every Man is Millionaire atleast by his sperm count...
And the Funniest thing is that even these million are also spent on Women...!! 💄😢😆
😀😀😀....................................................😝👍1 sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it,
which means a normal fuck represents a data transfer of 1587 GB in about 3 seconds...
And we think 3G is fast !
The 1st Penis guard in Cricket was used in 1894 & the 1st Helmet was used in 1934.
MORAL: It took 40 yrs for men to realize that Brain is also an important part. But priority was always clear..... 👌😆
A true friend don't send hugs or kisses but sends.....
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...
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.....
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👇👇👇👇👇👇
Best 50 porn sites ever!!!
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Benefits of Masturbation✊
1. Choice of 👩girl is yours..
2. Time 🕜 doesn't matter
3. 🚶Self service
4. Not a crime👮
5. Rest to girlfriend 💁
6. No risk of AIDS💀
7. No special 🏠place required
8. No money 💰wastage
9. Easy to 👻perform
10. Guaranteed satisfaction💏
11. No abortion ✂
12. Condom not required🎈
13. Not ✋necessary to remove whole underwear
14. Stress 😆easily removed
15. Doesn't matter how long your penis is 🍌
16. Don't need to care about the adours
17. Pleasure is essential for you......😈😈😈😈
18. One can do as many time as he wants 🔢
19. No need of special training, 🙌its so simple
20. Position 🚼is of your choice.
<Moral>
Do it yourself and don't expect others.
😚
 |
 |\
 |  \
  8=👊===D💦
 |  \                       💦
 |    \_                 💦💦
👟  👟
Happy masturbate day
Imp msg..Send this to all whom you care..'A boy who lived in brazil died after Masturbating 42 times in a day'... So guys..41 is the limit ...;-)😜😜
Whatsapp creativity. 👌👌👌👌👌
             🎀🎀🎀🎀
       🎀🎀🎀🎀 🎀 🎀
            |  🌀    🌀  |👂
            |       👃       |
            \      👄       /  \   \
               \_______/     \    \
       _______|    |______\    \
     /                             ____)
    /     /|                      |
  /     / (  🍊  )    (  🍊 )   
  \    \    \                    /
    \   \    |                 |
      \   \ /                   \
          /                       \
         /              p         \
        |                           |
         \           👅          |
           \          \/           /
             \          \        /
               \          \    /
                \          \ / 
                  \          )
                /          /
               |         /
               |       /
                \      /
. 🔞 Height  of whatsapp usage!!
A child asked his dad- Dad how was i born???
Dad replied
  👦   👩   💑   💏   💋   👄   👗 👙   👉 👌 👉 👌 👉 👌 👉 💦 👌  = 👶  .. 👪

Dilberts hilarious thoughts A good 30 laughs at Dilbert's one liners:


1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork..
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

why i got divorced..sad story

😄😄Why I got divorced.......... Sad story of a Man
Last wéek was my birthday....  My wife didnt wish me.... My parents forgot and so did my kids.... I went to work.... Even my colleagues didnt wish me.... As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special.... She asked me out to lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment... WE went there.... She said,"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?" "OKAY",i said... She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids ,My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming, SURPRISE.... And I was waiting on the sofa............. 😝 NAKED 😩.......... Sad story of a Man
Last wéek was my birthday....  My wife didnt wish me.... My parents forgot and so did my kids.... I went to work.... Even my colleagues didnt wish me.... As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special.... She asked me out to lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment... WE went there.... She said,"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?" "OKAY",i said... She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids ,My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming, SURPRISE.... And I was waiting on the sofa............. 😝 NAKED 😩

Whatsapp forward Messages

Letzz have fun. FWD ALL N GET UR TITLES 😁
1. 👊Sanda Kozhi
2. 😍 My love
3. 💃 best dancer
4. 😚 My life
5. 😭 Always crying
6. ☺ Mr/ Ms. Innocent
7. 👶 Babyness
9. 😡 Selfish
10.🚶🏃Porukki/Rowdy
11. 🙎 Soft
12. 😏 Mr./ Ms . Attitude
13. 👀 Talking with eyes
14. 👌Super
15. 👔 Model
16. ❤ Alive heart
17. 👦 Best Person ever
18. 🏆 Bharat Ratna
19. 💪 Beast
20. 👺 Most Annoying
21. 🎱 Player
22. 🌷 Most Caring
23. 🐅 The King
24. 👼 Free Minded
25. 🍟 Theeni pandaram
26.🃏 joker
27. 📷 Photogenic
28. 👮 different from all
29. 💝 Most Emotional
30. 🐣 new born baby
31. 👬 Best Friend, no 1 else
32.😘 Romantic
33. 😜 most comedian
34. 🎶 Good singer
35. 👫 Good frnd
36.🐰 play boy
And which titles will u give me.....?????????

Increase your battery life with WhatsApp

🔋⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡🔌
Send this msg to only 2 groups your battery will charge 100%.. try this magic
m also shocked.
🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇮🇮🇮🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦🇦
Created by :
1-Nirav Rana (Electrical Engineer)
2-Harsh Shaherawala JJ (Department Incharge at Atlanta Electricals Pvt. Ltd.)

Naredra Modi's message to india

I am Naredra Modi
🔵 PLEASE SHARE it with everyone and with all your groups ..
-
 Indian 90 days if not purchased any foreign stuff ..
India could become the world's second richest country ..
India in just 90 days
Rs 2 will be equal to $ 1 ..
plz share it to all
🙏Plz frwd this msg to all groups and say 🙏
🙏Is desh me rahena he to jag jao🙏
In 1970 1$ = Rs. 4
Today 1$ = Rs. 68
Estimated 1$ by end of the year = Rs. 72
Dollar is not getting stronger, rupee is getting weaker!
&
nobody else is responsible for d fall, except us!
How can we change it!
1. A Cold Drink produced for 70-80 paisa sold at Rs. 9-10!
Stop drinking them,
Drink Lemon juice, Lassi, Fruit juice, butter milk etc. instead of coke, pepsi.
========================
2. Use Soaps such as Cinthol, Santoor,Medimix, Neem, Godrej brands
instead of :-
Lux,lifebuoy, rexona, liril, dove, pears, hamam,camay, palmolive!
========================
3. Toothpaste-
Use Neem, babool, vicco, dabur
Instead of :-
Colgate,close up,pepsodent, cibaca
========================
4. Toothbrush :-
Use prudent, ajanta,promise,  instead of :-
colgate, close up, oral-b, pepsodent,forhans.
========================
5. Shaving cream:-
Use godrej, emami,
Instead of :-
Palmolive,old spice, gillete.
========================
6. Blade-
Use supermax, topaz, laser, ashoka
Instead of :-
Seven-o-clock, 365, gillete
========================
7. Talcum powder:-
Use santoor, gokul,cinthol, boroplus
Instead of :-
ponds, old spice, johnson,shower
 to shower.
========================
8. Milk powder:-
Use indiana, amul,amulya
Instead of :-
anikspray,milkana, everyday milk, milkmaid.
 =======================
9. Shampoo :-
Use Nirma, Velvette
Instead of :-
halo, all clear, sunsilk, head and shoulders, pantene.
========================
10. Mobile connections-
 Use bsnl, airtel,reliance,idea,docomo
Insteaf of :-
Vodafone
========================
11. Food :-
Eat at jay bhavani, TGB, local restaurants
Instead of :-
mac-d, subway, pizza hut, kfc.
========================
12. Mobiles :-
Use micromax, karbonn, lava,croma
Instead of :-
samsung,apple, htc, sony.
13. Bikes :-
Use hero, bajaj
Instead of :-
Honda, yamaha.
========================
14. Footwear:-
Use paragon, chavda,lakhani
Instead of :-
Nike, reebok, adidas,converse.
 ========================
15. Jeans and shirts:-
Use spykar, k-lounge
Instead of :-
Lee, levi's,U.s. Polo, pepe, benetton.
 ========================
16. Watch :-
Use titan, sonata ,fasttrack
Instead of :-
tommy, Citizen, zodiac, tissot.
========================
Dont use products from hindustan lever,
Only name is hindustan it has been taken by foreign company
We blame politicians
Now go and check the things you use and ask yourself how much do you contribute to the decreased value of RUPEE
You use these foreign made products...
&
Government have to pay in dollars for d same...thus value of rupee Decreases...
Aren't u responsible for fall of rupee..
In case Samsung S4 at Rs 41000. Same features Micromax Can4 comes at Rs 17000.means u waste Rs 24000..and these 24000 go to south Korea in dollars..
None of the indian products are subordinate in quality, they might look a bit less fancy!!
Why is china so ahead, because the whole world uses made in china items.
We indians could atleast use made in india items!
Change comes from within!  spread the change by broadcasting this msg to everyone on your contact list!
lets see by the end of this year does 1$ become Rs. 70 or it becomes Rs. 50..
JAAAAGO.
Some of these we follow....but we can make our  possible to make a change.

Before deleting, HELP your frnds by passing it..!
Let it reach d 121 crores Indians.
It might help sum1. Fwd to as many as u can.
WhatsApp to free hai,, soo..frwrd it plz..
Hai
So whts up
Forward this sms in 20 mobile. Get Rs.97.54. Its true.
Watch in today HINDUSTAN TIMES newspaper. Page 7.
Check your balance after 10min

dhoni and ashwin will be in vijay tv coffee with dd if india wins the world cup

Since the world cup telecasting in Vijay TV... If
India wins world cup...
1. Dhoni & ashwin will be sitting in koffee with DD
2. Virat & anushka sharma will participate in
namma veetu kalyanam
3. Raina, jadeja, rohit, mohit will play naduvula
konjam disturb panuvom
4. Rayudu will prepare Hyderabad biriyani in
kitchen super star
5. And rest of the players will fight in Neeya Nana..
Topic: India cup win panadhuku reason batting
ah??? bowling ah???
NOTE: Ella players kum 2000 rs madhipulla nalas
Appakadai coupon...
Enna ma neenga ippadi panringaley ma.....😂😂😂

Facebook Game which can be played with your friends

Ok, so let me see how this turns out: It occurs to me that for each and every one of you on my friends list, I catch myself looking at your pictures, sharing jokes and news, as well as support during good and bad times. I am also happy to have you among my friends. We will see who will take the time to read this message until the end. I'm going to be watching to see who takes care of the friendship, just like me. So if you are reading this, then thank you for being a part of my life. So leave ONE WORD on how we met. DON'T SHARE. Once you respond, I will inbox you this copy, then paste on your wall so I can leave one word for you #Reposted

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Facebook games copy and past it on your status

lord Buddha's explanation of love ❤

Beautifully answered by Lord Buddha :
"Master, What's the
difference between
"like" n "love"?
Buddha's answer was so simple:
"When u like a flower, u just pluck it.  But when u love a flower, u water it daily..!
One who understand this, understands LIFE ...
🙏 Happy Valentine's Day .... 🙏

😊 Happy WhatsApp Valentines week ❤

Its love, 💞
when a little girl puts her energy to give dad a head
massage.
Its love, 💞
when a wife makes tea for husband and take a sip
before him.
Its love, 💞
when a mother gives her son the best piece of cake.
Its love, 💞
when ur friend holds ur hand tightly on a slippery
road.
Its love, 💞
when your brother messages you and asks did you
reach home on time..
Love 💕 is not just a guy holding a girl and going around
the city.
Luv is wen u send a small msg to your frends to make them smile
💞 Luv 💕 is actually a name of "care"..
❤Happy valentine's week ❤

what is love ...valentines day special

What is love?
Love is when your mother kisses and say "en paiyan/ponnu lakshaththula oruththan/oruththi.

Love is when you come back from work and ur dad says " vaappa...innikku romba late aayoduchchu pola"

Love is when your anni says " hei...hero...unakku ponnu paakka porom...yaaravathu un manasula irunthaa sollu"
Love is when ur brother says "thambi..nee yenda tension aagura..naan irukken illa un kooda"
Love is when you are moodless and ur sister says, " vaappa..engayavathu konja neram relaxed a poittu varalaam..ellam nalla aayidum"
Love is when your best friend hugs you and says, " dei..nee illama ivvalavu neramum kalhaiye kattalada machchan"
These are the best momrnts of love...don't miss them in life.
Love is not only having a boy friend or girl friend.
Love u all who have been a special part of my life...........
Its love,
when a little girl puts her energy to give dad a head
massage.
Its love,
when a wife makes tea for husband and take a sip before him.
Its love,
when a mother gives her son the best piece of cake.
Its love,
when ur friend holds ur hand tightly on a slippery
road.
Its love,
when your brother messages you and asks did you
reach home on time..
Love 💕 is not just a guy holding a girl and going around
the city.
Love is when u send a small msg to your friends to make them smile..
 Luv 💕 is actually a name of "care"...
Welcome the season of love...
Happy valentine in advance... ❤💕💞💞💞💞💞

WhatsApp health tips..share it with your friends

Plz read & circulate🔜 ---- IMPORTANT
Good Morning.
To Each AC Car user,Now this is very interesting & MUST READ , as it's for HEALTH !...Car's manual says to roll down the windows to let out all the hot air before turning on the A/C. WHY ?
No wonder more folks are dying from cancer than ever before. We wonder where this stuff comes from, but here is an example that
explains a lot of the cancer-causing incidents.
Many people are in their cars the first thing in the morning, and the last thing at night, 7 days a week.
Please do NOT turn on A/C as soon as you enter the car.
Open the windows after you enter your car and then after a couple of minutes, turn ON the AC .
Here's why: According to research, the car's dashboard, seats, a/c ducts, in fact ALL of the plastic objects in your vehicle, emit Benzene,
a Cancer causing toxin. A BIG CARCINOGEN. Take the time to observe the smell of heated plastic in your car when you open it,
and BEFORE you start it up.
In addition to causing cancer, Benzene poisons your bones, causes anaemia and reduces white blood cells. Prolonged exposure can
cause Leukemia and increases the risk of some cancers. It can also cause miscarriages in pregnant women.
The "acceptable" Benzene level indoors is: 50mg per sq.ft.
A car parked indoors, with windows closed, will contain 400-800 mg of Benzene - 8 times the acceptable level
If parked outdoors in the sun, at a temperature above 60 degrees F, the Benzene level goes up to 2000-4000 mg, 40 times the acceptable level.
People who get into the car, keeping the windows closed, will eventually INHALE excessive amounts of the BENZENE toxin.
Benzene is a toxin that affects your kidneys and liver. What's worse, it is extremely difficult for your body to expel this toxic stuff.
So  please open the windows and doors of your car - give it some time for the interior to air out
-(dispel the deadly stuff) - before you enter the vehicle.
Thought: 'When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others.
Please share.👍😊

Whatsapp valentines day special quotes in malayalam

Ee chuvanna Pokkale shakshi nirthi Ente thuranna hrdhayathile sneham sheekarikumo

happy valentines day for loverz

______________________________________

Ottaykkakkilla ennu kaathil

nooru vattam paranjathu nee ,
oduvil ottaykku aakki akannathum nee ,
snehikkan padippichathum nee ,
sneham kaanathe poyathum nee ,
marannal maranamennu cholliyathu nee ,
marikkum munne marannathum nee ,

____________________________________________

Ninakk sammanikkan oru poovu thedi orupad poonthottangalil njan alanju, nite punjiriyekkal manoharamayoru poovm evideyum njan kandathilla...



_________________________________________________
hi i have been pretending the whole of my live that even if i dont see you i dont get hurted bt the more i missed to hear your voice the older i get because of stress. what i miss so much is your beautiful smile . ur romantic and Anglic voice . and your warm kiss. and nw am lonely in this coldness with no one to tell me she loves me and if only u can hear me from where ever you may be i would only want to tell you i love you and happy Valentine day!!!



Valentine's Day SMS in Malayalam - Valentines SMS for Mobile Phones

Send Malayalam Valentine's Day SMS messages to your special someone. Wish your lover/partner/valentine a Happy Valentine's Day on his or her mobile phone with Valentine's Day SMS Messages.

Valentines day Games Whatsapp

Valentines day Games to play

1) Name that song
Gather a selection of lyrics together from tunes like, "Love Story" -Taylor Swift or"That's The Way Love Goes" - Janet Jackson etc. Do a "dramatic reading," or a dramatic interpretation (also called "Charades") about the song and award prizes to the first person who guesses the correct title of each song.

2) Bag a mate
At some time during the party, separate the men and women. the men must be in a separate room  , and the women in another. Place a paper bag over each person’s head, and send both back into one room. See that nobody is talks,and each person must "feel around" blind folded to find his/her mate. There are no real winners or losers (unless you really grab the wrong person). Note: When placing bags on the heads of your participants or guests , you can provide them with a eye holes if you want.

WhatsApp joke

Couldn't stop my laughter after reading this one.
 
A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door….
A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.
Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!
Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?
Salesman: - Why Madam?
Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!
MORAL: - "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly."..
      😂😂😝😜😂😂

Whatsapp valentines day games to play

ChooZe One bo.x i ll say ..wat ll be .ur. Feb 14 event..!
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Happy Valentines Day Pictures and Wishes for Whatsapp


1) If I could pull down the rainbow,

then I would write
my and my valentine’s name on it
and put it back on its own place
so that the world could see
how colorful is our relationship.
You are mine forever!
Happy Valentine’s Day 2015!
-------------------------------------------
2) Phones without signal,
Facebook without friends,
YouTube without music.
These are all strange,
but none of them are as weird
as ME without U !
Happy Valentines Day 2015 !
-------------------------------------------
 3) No matter where I go,the warmest place willalways be, in your arms.Sweetheart hug me tightlyand hear me say:Love you today, tomorrow andever after…Happy Valentine’s Day!-----------------------------------------4) My love for you If I could give you one thing in life,I would give you the abilityto see yourself through my eyes,Only then would you realize my loveand that how special you are to me.Here’s wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day!-------------------------------------------5) 2 b loved is da bst,2 fall in love is a curse.2 b alne is unbearable,#2 fnd ur true love is a dream,2 b aprt frm ur love is painful,2 lose da 1 u love is death.------------------------------------
Happy Valentines Day Pictures and Wishes for Whatsapp
So just pick up your most beautiful Happy Valentines Day Pictures and Wishes for Whatsapp and send them to your beloved one to wish them happy Valentine’s Day. Make this day very special by texting so beautiful and awesome Valentine’s Day sms through Whatsapp or wechat. Valentine’s day sms or Valentine’s day messages for Whatsapp includes Funny Valentine’s day sms, I Love You valentines sms, Cute Valentines sms and many more Valentine’s day wishes on this special Valentine’s day 2014.I hope you will love these Happy Valentines Day Pictures and Wishes for Whatsapp or Happy Valentines Day Pictures and Wishes for Wechat.

Mentally Challenged Woman raped,brutalized and murdered in Rohtak


CHANDIGARH: men raped a 28-year-old mentally-challenged and woman and brutalized before killing her at Bahu Akbarpur in Haryana's Rohtak district on last Sunday.

The woman's body was found half decayed and without her vital organs after three days from the day she went missing on Wednesday, there where sticks, stones and  number of condoms stuffed into her private parts.

Government official have announced 1 lakh RS reward for who ever provides information about the rapists.

KSEB Athukkum meale

Wikipedia : " I know everything "
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Google : " I have everything "
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Facebook : " I know everybody "
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Internet : " without me u r no body "
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KSEB : " Athukkum meale😛 ".

Coimbatore bus rout

🚌Traffic alert🚎
☑All town buses which touches gandhipuram junction won't have any diversions...
☑Townbus stand wil b temporarily shifted to corporation space near to parkgate...
☑Mettupalayam anaikatti service buses r routed to tudiyalur new bustand
☑Annur puliampatti Sathy bannari service buses r routed to omni bustand gandhipuram
☑avinashi tirupur erode salem namakal karur trichy perambalur gobi andhiyur service buses r routed to singanallur bustand
☑karnataka inter state buses which operated from thiruvalluvar bustand gandhipuram wil b shifted to omni bustand gandhipuram
☑kerala inter state buses which operated from thiruvalluvar bustand gandhipuram wil b operating hereafter from ukkadam bustand
✅no service bus hereafter won't touch gandhipuram junction. Townbuses operates from parkgate-parkgate. GP signal,100ft road till text tool gonna be one way...
⛔Today its a trial run but from monday onwards tis wil b of serious implementation...
So ppl who r trvlng thro gandhipuram junction r requested to b aware of tis traffic divertion...
Happy travelling😜😉

20 life hacks

Did You Know....?
1. Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice about you. Wear nice shoes.
2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day, there's a 50% chance you'll die within the next 3 years
3. There are at least 6 people in the world who look exactly like you. There's a 9% chance that you'll meet one of them in your lifetime.
4. Sleeping without a pillow reduces back pain and keeps your spine stronger.
5. A person's height is determined by their father, and their weight is determined by their mother.
6. If a part of your body "falls asleep",
you can almost always "wake it up" by shaking your head.
7. There are three things the human brain cannot resist noticing - Food, attractive people and danger
8. Right-handed people tend to chew food on their right side
9. Putting dry tea bags in gym bags or smelly shoes will absorb the unpleasant odour.
10. According to Albert Einstein, if honey bees were to disappear from earth, humans would be dead within 4 years.
11. There are so many kind of apples, that if you ate a new one everyday, it would take over 20 years to try them all.
12. You can survive without eating for weeks, but you will only live 11 days without sleeping.
13. People who laugh a lot are healthier than those who don't.
14. Laziness and inactivity kills just as many people as smoking.
15. A human brain has a capacity to store 5 times as much information as Wikipedia
16. Our brain uses same amount power as 10-watt light bulb!!
17. Our body gives enough heat in 30 mins to boil 1.5 litres of water!!
18. Stomach acid (conc. HCl) is strong enough to dissolve razor blades!!
19. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.
20. ✋Fwd‬ this to everyone ☝on your list...a worthy information for people to be aware of.

A few jokes about Coimbatore..!!


1. If you want to fool your guests, take them to VOC Zoo.
2. In Chennai, there is a mall inside every area. In Coimbatore, there is whole area inside every mall.
3. PSG built a bridge across the road to avoid congestion on the road, but Fun Mall avoids congestion in classes.
4. During peak hours, Hope’s bus stop is hopeless bus stop.
5. In Coimbatore, if you happen to see agricultural land that has not been sold as plots, you are at Agricultural University.
6. The two things you can see at 4 a.m. on NSR Road — street dogs and Class XII students.
7. Don’t know how much Nehru Stadium has contributed to the development of sports, but it has surely contributed to the development of lot of restaurants and hangouts around it.
8. No matter how much you meditate in retreats up in the hills, the road back to the city will always shatter the calm.
9. The latest thumb rule in Coimbatore is — wherever there is a KFC, there is also a McDonalds.
10. Coimbatore la college kattunavanum, kalaan kada potavanum loss aanadha sarithrame kedayaadhu!😉

How are babies made explanation

How are babies born ?? Explained in what's app:
😐          😕
/l\         <👗\
 /\            /\
😉       😳
/|\       /👗\
 /\          /\
😚          😒
/|\          <👗>
 /\             /\

😍       ☺
/|\       /👗\
 /\          /\

😍       😍
/|\       /👗\
 /\          /\

 😘 😊
 /|\ /👗\
  /\    /\

 😳  😁
 /|\  /👙\
 /\     / \

😈    /😰\
<|\       👙
 /🍆    / \

😅
/()__,✊😮
 /\           /\\/\
😎
/\\___,____😫
  //    /       \

😖
/\\___,💦_____😋
  //         /        \

😭     ☺
/|\   /(👶)\
 /\      / \

Story of Ramasamy and Madasamy MNC life style

Ramasamy passed B.tech and placed at MNC during Campus Recruitment. CTC 4 lakhs. His Relatives, Family friends of wished him for success. That’s it Ramasamy face glowed like Petramax light and thought himself from today every day will be happy.
Madasamy beside to Ramasamy house got failed in Degree. All his relatives and family friends blamed Madasamy as everyone in Hyderabad is studying B.tech but Madasamy even failed in degree.  Every one gave him suggestions like to sell Idly, Dosa….  Put Pan shop…  or sell Milk…  His Father was very much embarrassed. Now what to do…? Madasamy asked his mother 2 lakhs and borrowed 2 more lakhs then bought buffaloes and started Milk Business.
Ramasamy bought bike through credit card and started to office. Madasamy on TVS with Milk Cans also started to sell. Ramasamy proudly said ‘Hai’ to Madasamy. Madasamy with embarrass look said ‘Hai’ and left to their duties.
6 months passed away….
Ramasamy cleared 20% interest over bike; still actual price 80K is pending. Madasamy cleared 1 lakh out of his 2lakh borrowed money. Both faced each other, Ramasamy gave small smile thinking that when he will clear 80K. Madasamy also gave narrow smile by thinking about his remaining 1 lakh loan.
1 year passed away…..
Ramasamy put hopes on salary hike. Suddenly due to recession company mailed this year no hike. Now half liter milk price increased to 14/-Rs from 10/-Rs. This profited Madasamy to 30% and cleared remaining 1 lakh loan amount. By now anyhow Ramasamy cleared his Bike loan and brought Personnel loan of 2 lakhs for 16% interest. Ramasamy bought furniture, LCD, LapTop with 2 that lakhs. Every One accolade Ramasamy as he brought these accessories in just 2 years of job. Now Madasamy with his Profited money brought 12 more buffaloes. His income doubled.
Again both faced each other. Ramasamy gave doubtful smile thinking about his Personnel loan. Madasamy gave heart full smile since he doesn’t have any debts.
After 2 Years Ramasamy got 10% salary hike. He then bought a Maruthi Wagan R car through Car Loan. Mean time Madasamy bought 2 acres land for his 3 dozens of buffaloes. Even Milk Prices raised to 30% again. Now Madasamy income is 200% more than Ramasamy. Madasamy owned one Auto to sell Milk. One more time both faced each other. By thinking his Loans and Interests Ramasamy unable to give whole Hearted Smile. Whereas Madasamy smiled confidently from his own Auto.
2 more years passed away…..!
Ramasamy applied to 40 lakhs home loan and bought one apartment. Madasamy buffaloes number crossed Century. Madasamy bought 2 apartments. Ramasamy got 10 more percent salary hike. Milk price crossed 40/Rs per liter now. Total income of Madasamy is 500% more than the income of Ramasamy. That’s all Madasamy bought 1 Skoda and 1 Innova Car. Both faced each other. Ramasamy gave tension smile by thinking that when he will clear 40 lakh loan. Madasamy gave Confident smile since he own a single size Milk Factory with more than 100 buffaloes and 25 workers.
That night Ramasamy was in a deep frustration. Because after 5 years Madasamy own 4 crores of Money, monthly 5 lakhs of income, provided jobs to 25 workers.   Ramasamy salary is 7 lakhs with 40 lakhs debt and un satisfactory job. This is the Balance Sheet.

Facts: In 2008 Milk was 10/- litre. Now 40/- litre.
Gold 12500/- 10 grams, Now 30000/-.
In the last 5 years salary hikes for software professionals was just 30%.
All commodity prices increased to 300%.
Still many people from outside think about  engineers that as they earn in lakhs…   For them show this or share……..


PESAMA 🐄MAADU🐄 MECHURUKKALAMO!!!

Food for your thoughts

Someone has written these beautiful LINES. Read and try to understand the deeper meaning.
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ 1. Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout life.
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ 2. Why is a car's windshield so large & the rear view mirror so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, look ahead and move on.
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ 3. Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes a few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡  4. All things in life are temporary. If they are going well, enjoy them, they will not last forever. If they are going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ 5. Old friends are gold! New friends are diamond! If you get a diamond, don't forget the gold! To hold a diamond, you always need a base of gold!
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ 6. Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart; it's just a bend, not the end!"
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ 7. When God solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when God doesn't solve your problems, He has faith in YOUR abilities.
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ 8. A blind person asked God: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ 9. When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.
Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ 10. Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles; it takes away today's PEACE
If you enjoyed this, please copy it and pass it to others. It may brighten someone else's day, too

WhatsApp good morning quote

The greatest Gift in Ur life is,
One who knows all Ur faults and drawbacks. Yet Still willing to accept U with so much care & affection...  
Good mrg 🙏🙏🙏.

Blue films are the most positive movies

blue films  are the most Positive Movies....
No Murder, No War, No Fight, No conspiracy, No Cheating... (Everybody enjoys the Climax) !!
Lots of Love & always a very Happy Ending for all Characters!!
No milna bichhadana, No crying teasing !!
Good cooperation, Good coordination, No dramebazi, natural acting, No language problem...
AND the Best part.... Enga iruntha padatha paaka start panalum kadha puriyum. 😉😳😄😜🙆😁🙊🙈
Good morning

i movie review

I - Movie Review
Iam sayan from canada. I got the opportunity of seeing the movie "i" even before the release because i work with the distributors here. There was a special screening of the film yesterday.believe me you are going to see a movie which you would not have seen before and you will not see even in future. Dont worry im not going to leak the suspences nd the storyline but i just want you all to know what this movie is all about as i cant control my excitement anymore. This is the story of a bodybuilder whose dreams where shattered in life because of believing everyone and taking a injection without his knowledge. 'i' will make you laugh but moreover it will make you cry if u have a heart. it has a biggest twist in the first half block. actually this is not a review but my experience.
Highs- Vikram as the hunchback and bodybuilder. There is another model character by vikram called lee( keep guessing) , Bgm's , train fight , cycle fight , songs , screenplay( You will not get bored even for a second i assure you) nd the main positive is the end card where all the sufferings of vikram are shown for the hunchback for 15 mins and there is a scene in the film where the hunchback goes to his gym and tries to lifts the equipments which he used to do in ease once...that will make you cry...
Low's- Iam no one to say the lows of a shanker film but there are some lows in 'i'...
Hunchback character comes for about 60% of the movie.. it gets very disgusting to see vikram in that swollen face look , voice is not understandable but shanker covers it to some extent by placing songs at the right time
My review - 4.25/5
Bottomline- he is ugly but he is the ugly truth. You have to feel for him.

Boiling a frog - story

Put a frog in a vessel of water and start heating the water.
As the temperature of the water rises, the frog is able to adjust its body temperature accordingly.

The frog keeps on adjusting with increase in temperature...
Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog is not able to adjust anymore...
At that point the frog decides to jump out...
The frog tries to jump but is unable to do so, because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature...
Very soon the frog dies.
What killed the frog?
Many of us would say the boiling water...
But the truth is what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when it had to jump out.
We all need to adjust with people and situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when we need to confront/face.
There are times when we need to face the situation and take the appropriate action...
If we allow people to exploit us physically, mentally, emotionally or financially, they will continue to do so...
We have to decide when to jump.
Let us jump while we still have the strength.
Think on It !!
I love this message every time I read..
 😊

Tamil WhatsApp joke

Long back 2 young indian tailors went to foreign & struggled to get job !
Later they started a small shop.
Their design became popular.
They rocked the market & became rich..
that is ADIDAS;
Their names were :
ADInarayana & DASgupta.
That became ADIDAS.
Same to PUMA...
The tailors were :
PUgalendhi & MAnimegala..
& for NIKE too..
tailors were :
Nilaveni & KEsava moorthy
Moral of story 👆👍:
Kekaravan kenaiyana Yiruntha,
SONY company owner
SOrnakka & NYanthara'nu solluvanga..

Can electricity enter our body through the flash of digital camera


Yes 100% it can happen........c 
This is a true incident, which happened with a 21 year old boy
studying engineering. He died in Keshwani hospital. He was admitted
in the hospital in burned conditions.
The reason........?????????
He went to Amrawati for study tour, while coming back, he was waiting
for train at railway station along with his friends.
Many of them were taking grp photo in their mobiles with digital camera.
This boy was also there and trying to take grp photo. The place where this
boy was standing, complete grp photo was not coming. So to get complete grp
photo he went a little back. The place where
he was standing, there was a electric wire with 40,000 volt.
As soon as he pressed the button of digital camera, the electricity of 40,000 volt
entered the camera through the flash and then the fingers and then whole body.
All this happened in a fraction of few seconds and his 50% body was burnt,
in that condition he was brought to Keshwani hospital , and then to Mumbai in an ambulance. He was unconscious for 1 and 1/2 days. As his body 50% burnt, doctors were having less hope for him. Later on he died.
This can happen with anyone.......??????
as we all are using mobile.
Are we learned and responsible ...........??????
# Avoid using mobile phones at petrol pumps.
# Avoid using mobile phones when u r driving.
# When mobile is on charging don't receive call,
1st remove the charging pin and then receive the call.
# When mobile is on charge don't put it on bed or wooden
furniture.
# pls don't use mobile phone/digital camera -flash at railway stations
or any other place, where there is a heavy electricity wire.
This is for your safety,,.............

After reading pls share it......
Because of this some ones life can be saved.
pls share 
with
whom  you care
Pls do share with all ur contacts...

Eid Milad-un-Nabi whatsapp wishes

1) May the birth of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) usher in an era of peace, love, happiness and prosperity for you!
 Happy Eid Milad-un-Nabi!

2)The Prophet's birthday is a moment to rededicate ourselves to the ideals for which He lived his life. He gave us the message of compassion towards all fellow beings. May His enlightened message guides us on the path of Peace, Goodwill and Harmony!
 HAPPY Eid Milad-un-Nabi!

3)May all the blessings of the Allah be with you on Milad-un-Nabi!
 A very happy Eid to you and your family!

Vijayakanth jokes

Died Laughing....
There was a 100 metre race going on...
Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'...
Everybody started running except Vijayakanth.
Referee - y r u not running...?
Vijayakanth - My number is 4...
Varun: how many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?
Vijayakanth: I can eat 6 apples.
Varun: Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple tht’s not an empty stomach!
Vijayakanth: Wow superb joke I’ll tell my friend...
Vijayakanth to Premalatha: how many apples you can eat on an empty stomach ?
Premalatha: I can eat 10
Vijayakanth: Oh no, if you had told 6, I would have told a nice joke..!! 😰😜😫😂
SBI Bank: Our bank is giving loan without interest....
Vijayakanth:
If you don't have interest in giving loan then I don't want it....
Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied..
FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died)
AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died)
Vijayakanth: I think.. (died)😝
Vijayakanth and his brother are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Vijayakanth - what should we do now?
Vijayakanth brother- we'll take 50:50.
Vijayakanth- what about the remaining 900?
Vijayakanth: Let's go for movie .
Girl friend: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..
Vijayakanth: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick.😄😂😁😁😁
Vijayakanth reading newspaper..
News:
"Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"
Vijayakanth comments:
Idiot !!
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping
Vijayakanth went to shop to buy Indian flag for independence dayc ..
Vijayakanth told something and the shop keeper fainted...
Guess what did vijayakanth say ?
 
'Show me some more colors in this'!!!
Try this It's magic !!
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